


Rebuilding Block Castles

by sopdetly



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Custody Arrangements, Divorce, F/M, M/M, Minor age shifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:21:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 38,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3486344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sopdetly/pseuds/sopdetly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A number of chance encounters with an intriguing man named Remus Lupin sets Sirius off on a path to fall in love, and to learn what it is to fight for the people he loves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rebuilding Block Castles

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Hayley for making me sound less like an American. Many, many thanks to Em for being my sounding board, alpha, and beta as I've fought this fic since the start of the year. Written for the 2009 bigbangblackout.

Sirius's head smacked against the pavement as he fell to his back, stars dancing in front of his face and a terrible pain radiating from his skull. He lay there for a moment, not entirely sure how he'd managed to get into such a state, but from what he could tell, he was still wearing trousers and couldn't smell vomit, so things couldn't be too bad, could they?  
  
"Hey there, are you all right?"  
  
Ahh, a kind soul, a pitying gentleman! He felt a quick stab of guilt, knowing that if the situation were reversed, he'd probably just keep walking past rather than stopping to help.  
  
"Um. . . ." He pushed himself up on his elbows gingerly, trying not to rattle himself too much. "I'm fine, sure. Yeah. Ow."  
  
The other man chuckled softly. "You never saw that courier, did you?"  
  
Sirius blinked, and turned his head in the direction of the invisible beastie that ran him down. "Er. No, I didn't. That was a courier?" He mimed holding handlebars. "On a little bike?"  
  
"Don't worry, I'll tell the story with a motorbike instead. Perhaps a small car." There was a smile in his voice, and Sirius turned to see shaggy brown hair and a small grin teasing at pretty lips. He swallowed.  
  
"Much obliged," he replied, nodding carefully. "I think I can get to my feet now."  
  
The man stood up and offered a hand back down to Sirius, who took it and quickly pushed himself up, letting go before his palm started sweating profusely. Sirius had long wished his stomach would just simply flutter when someone caught his fancy, like everyone else. (Everyone except that kid in school, the one who could go from floppy to raging erection in mere seconds if a bird with red lipstick and a healthy bosom so much as caught the edge of his vision. Sirius knew he was in much better shape than old Martin Finchey, that was for damn sure.)  
  
Sirius nodded to the helpful man as he brushed himself off. "Thanks for making sure I wasn't concussed. Or dead."  
  
The man—whose eyes managed to sparkle even on a dreary London day such as this—just waved off the thank you. "Consider this your reminder that not all of humanity is in a terrible state these days."  
  
"Well then, count me among those with faith in my fellow man." Sirius smiled, a dangerous smile that was soft and welcoming without being cheeky and flirtatious. Lily once confessed, albeit drunkenly, that Sirius would be more successful catching people off-guard with that smile. He didn't entirely agree—after all, he'd done quite fine for himself with his trademark Bad Boy Grin for many years now—but in this one case, he conceded in his mind that there might be something to it.  
  
The man chuckled. "You think you're okay to continue on by yourself? Don't need to see a doctor?"  
  
Yes, I think you should take me home and examine me. He gave himself a look over, brushing off his elbows. "No, I should be fine," he said, just a little reluctantly. "I was heading home, anyway." He gestured down the road. "Just a few streets more, actually. I think I can make it."  
  
"All right then." He nodded, smiled once more, and began to turn away. "You'll take care to look both ways now, won't you?"  
  
Sirius laughed. "I will, yes. Thanks again." He began to walk down the road towards home. After a few steps, however, he stopped and turned around, shouting back towards the man, "Oi! What's your name?"  
  
The man stopped and turned, waiting a few beats in consideration before he shouted back, "I'm Remus! Remus Lupin!" And with that, Remus Lupin went back on his way, leaving a crowd of curious people staring at him in his wake.  
  


* * *

  
"He didn't ask yours?"  
  
Sirius shook his head. "Nope. S'pose that means I ought to just leave well enough alone." He leaned into his hand braced on his elbow, his other hand holding his fork and poking at the pasta on his plate, twirling it around the prongs and then letting it slide back onto the plate.  
  
From across the table, his godson chided, "Don't play with your food!"  
  
James nudged Harry with his elbow. "Don't tell adults what to do, little man." James then looked over at Sirius and winked. "But you really shouldn't play with your food, mate."  
  
Lily looked at Sirius, concerned. "You sure you don't have concussion? Not like you not to make a huge mess with spag bol when you eat it."  
  
"I'm fine, really." Sirius sat up, taking a deep breath. "Bit of a headache, but that could just be from work, too."  
  
"You can stay here tonight, if you'd like," James offered, before taking a forkful of pasta and slurping it up into his mouth, making Harry laugh and imitate his father, with far messier results.  
  
"Harry, eat like a—well, I suppose given the grown-ups around here, you don't have much of a role model, do you?" Lily said, sighing. "Eat neatly, please. I just did the washing yesterday, I don't want to do another load to get tomato stains out of your school shirts."  
  
Harry pouted, but he picked up his knife and began to cut his spaghetti into bite-sized strands.  
  
Sirius shook his head. "No, I'm fine to go home, honestly. Should probably go a bit earlier, get a good night's sleep."  
  
James nodded. "Probably should, yeah. And I don't imagine you'd have an early night with your fan club hanging around, would you?" He reached over to ruffle Harry's perpetually-messy hair.  
  
Lily leaned closer to Sirius. "Hey. If he wanted nothing to do with you, he could've pretended not to hear, right?"  
  
"True," Sirius agreed, nodding a bit. "You'd think . . ." He trailed off, not actually knowing what he was supposed to be thinking.  
  
Lily squeezed his arm. "Sounds like he gave you a breadcrumb. You just have to follow the trail now, Gretel."  
  
"Oh ha ha, I see, I'm a girl. Very clever, I've never really heard that from anyone before, certainly not that toe rag you call a husband."  
  
Harry piped up, waving his fork in the air. "Sometimes Mum calls Dad the lady of the house 'cause she's the one that wears the trousers!"  
  
Sirius cracked up, as James glared at his son and Lily dabbed at her mouth with a napkin, unsuccessfully hiding a smug smile.  
  


* * *

  
Life, Sirius considered, was a funny old thing. His beloved bike, his Sweet Mae with a tear in the leather on the seat and enough dings to divert a beam of light right back to where it started, was on her last legs, and Sirius had been in the careful process of deciding if his love for her was worth putting enough cash into restoring her back to her former glory, or if it would be kinder to lay her to rest when she made the decision for him.  
  
Her tragic passing was why he was traveling on foot that fateful day when a piss-ant little bicycle nearly cost him his life.  
  
When he met Remus Lupin.  
  
The same Remus Lupin, he was fairly certain, who was currently chatting with the owner of Sirius's favorite bike shop. The shop Sirius had just entered, hoping to see if that same owner had any leads on used bikes for sale.  
  
So yes. Life was indeed a funny old thing.  
  
If it had been any other patron, Sirius would have been an arsehole and gone over to poke his nose in to let old Fletch know he was there, but Sirius just swallowed and—for one of the first times in his life—made the decision to behave himself and wait patiently. He browsed over the merchandise, poking and prodding at doo-dads and thingamajigs, wondering just how well a cup-holder on a bike really worked and pondering the image of having a lavender leather seat cover.  
  
He circled the room slowly, moving as he saw the pair move, trying to stay opposite, stay out of sight. He wasn't sure why, but for some reason he felt as though Remus Lupin would not approve of Sirius looking into buying a new motorbike. Though that thought did summon another, the question of why Remus Lupin was here in the first place if he was so disapproving, but Sirius didn't care about logic at a time like this.  
  
So thorough was his concentration on ignoring the others, that he completely missed that they had stopped speaking, that Fletch had gone into the back, and that Remus Lupin was suddenly at Sirius's elbow.  
  
"You were able to track me here just based on a name? That  _is_  impressive."  
  
Sirius started and looked over at Remus, who was picking up a side mirror and examining it. Sirius could see a small smile reflected his way.  
  
"I was . . . what? Wait. No. No!" He shook his head quickly. "I didn't track you anywhere. This is just where I come for all my . . . bike stuff." So much for keeping that a secret, then.  
  
Remus Lupin almost seemed to deflate a little, just the slightest drooping of his shoulders. "Well, I can certainly appreciate a happy coincidence for what it is then." He put down the mirror and turned to face Sirius properly. "So if you've a means of transportation, why were you risking life and limb on the courier-filled streets of residential London?"  
  
Sirius felt his lips quirk, quite independently of any conscious thought. "Well, I don't actually have such means currently." He sighed, letting sadness and grief overcome his features. "My beloved, she has . . . passed on."  
  
Remus Lupin nodded slowly, every bit the well-meaning sympathetic man who doesn't really know the love of a man for his metal and leather and rubber mistress. "I'm very sorry for your loss."  
  
Sirius took a deep breath, then smiled and winked. "I'm sure I'll get by. Just looking to see if Fletch knew of any good deals. A new lady in my life would certainly help with getting to that acceptance stage of grief, I'm sure."  
  
"I'm sure. Well, I should probably head out. Nice—"  
  
"I'm Sirius Black," said Sirius suddenly, not wanting another encounter to end without evening the score a bit. "Well, Sirius, I mean. No need to be so formal. Not, not that you asked. But now if I run into you at my favorite curry house, at least I can ask you if you've tracked  _me_  down."  
  
Remus Lupin smiled slightly. "Well, I prefer the curry from my local, so I don't think there's much chance of us running into each other there, Sirius Black." He nodded. "Sirius."  
  
Sirius bit his cheek hard, just barely keeping the question of where he lived inside. Wouldn't do to seem so keen, not yet. "Well that's good to know, I won't have to keep looking over my shoulder, then." Oh, but he can't let this end without planting the seed for something in the future, just possibly. "I suppose you'll have to keep a weather eye open on the Tube, though? I'm all over the city for work, so you never know when I might find myself in your neighborhood."  
  
There's a long, measured look from the pair of soft brown eyes, and Sirius got the impression that he was being sized-up and considered. He swallowed and tried to discretely wipe his palms on his jeans.  
  
"I don't take the tube, much," said Remus Lupin, finally, "but maybe I'll watch out the next time I'm around Canary Wharf." He nodded again and turned. "Nice to see you again, Sirius."  
  
Sirius grinned. "Same to you, Remus Lupin!"  
  
Remus Lupin paused with one hand on the door, ready to push out, then looked back. "Remus. No need to be so formal." He grinned, then, a wide cheerful grin with teeth, and pushed open the door and walked out, not looking back.  
  
Sirius watched through the windows as Remus Lupin—Remus—crossed the street at a jog against the light, hands stuffed in his jacket pocket and bag slung over his back. He sighed. "Oh,  _bollocks_."  
  


* * *

  
It was warm for late September, and the heat wasn't helped by the suit Sirius would kill to strip off. He winced and ran his finger under his collar, wishing he could at least take off his tie.  
  
"Remind me again," he murmured to James, who looked just as uncomfortable as Sirius did, "why I've been dragged along to a wedding for one of Lily's old school mates?"  
  
James shrugged, whispering back. "Buggered if I know." He waited a beat, then added, "Oh, and I wanted to have a mate to bother so Lil wouldn't have to wear her elbow out nudging me all day?" His nudged Sirius's arm and gave his friend a stupid grin.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes at James's sense of humor. "Cheers." He sighed and looked around, surveying his fellow guests. Most people were chatting in comfortable groups, looking as though they belonged and were happy to be there: the opposite of Sirius, then. "This isn't some insane plan to get me a shag tonight, is it?"  
  
"Ha! Oh Sirius, my friend." James squeezed Sirius's shoulder. "If we wanted to get you a shag, we would be a  _lot_  more obvious." Sirius laughed, and from a few feet away Lily called over to James. "Right back," James said with a wink, before turning to his wife with a broad grin. "Yes, my darling girl?"  
  
With a shake of his head and a soft snort, Sirius turned away, deciding it was time for a easy stroll around the edges of the party, to smile at some of the birds, nod at some men, show himself off as the attractive and generally easy-going man that he undoubtedly was. Maybe he could snag a bridesmaid for a shag. If he got desperate, that was.  
  
"Okay, now this is just getting weird."  
  
Sirius turned quickly at sound of the soft voice behind him. "I . . ." His mouth flopped open uselessly for a moment and he pointed at Remus, who seemed to be holding in laughter. "This one's not my fault! I swear! I was dragged along!"  
  
Now Remus did laugh, a soft, calming laugh that made Sirius want to lean in close to hear all the nuances. "Well I suppose that's just a coincidence, then."  
  
"It really is." Sirius relaxed a bit, glad that Remus wasn't thinking of him as some mad and clumsy stalker. "Are you crashing as well, or were you actually invited?"  
  
Remus looked over Sirius's shoulder, nodding. "I'm friends with the groom." He looked back at Sirius, arching an eyebrow. "I was the best man, actually. You didn't notice during the ceremony?"  
  
Sirius blinked, then laughed and shrugged. "You've caught me out. I only came for the party." He hung his head, hoping to communicate deep shame. "You're not going to have me chucked out, are you?" To his surprise, Sirius heard that come out with an honest plea, rather than the flirtatious whine he would normally have used on a line like that.  
  
"It's fairly tempting," Remus admitted, "if only to see if you'd go quietly or pitch a fit." Sirius's eyes widened. "But I won't. I'm mates with the groom, but I think his new wife is a cow and only after his money, and practically everyone here came for her."  
  
Sirius coughed, deciding discretion was the better part of valor and not mentioning that his friends were here for the new cow-wife. He looked over his shoulder, seeing that the groom and his bride did look a bit mismatched. "Just for his money, you say?"  
  
Remus nodded. "Mm, yes. Not that she's  _told_  me or anything, but I can tell. She certainly doesn't love him, and—he's my mate, but I can't deny it—he's certainly not particularly attractive."  
  
Sirius looked again, shaking his head. "No, not particularly."  
  
"So if it's not love, and it's not for his looks, then it must be for his money." Remus paused, then added, "Which is strange, because he's almost destitute. . . ." His face was set in a deadpan expression, but his eyes sparkled with humor, and Sirius chuckled.  
  
"Sex, love, and money are pretty much the only three reasons to get married, I'd say."  
  
Remus gave him a strange look, but nodded slowly. "I suppose."  
  
Sirius swallowed, suddenly feeling as though he'd said something wrong. "Then again, I'm not married, so what do I know?" He gave a half-hearted chuckle and a small grin, hoping he hadn't completely offended the other man.  
  
There was a moment of vaguely awkward silence, which found Sirius shifting nervously and trying not to stare at the light freckles over Remus's nose.  
  
"So when you're not crashing wedding receptions," Remus asked, with a wry grin, "and not looking for motorbike accessories, what do you do?"  
  
Sirius laughed a bit. "I, uh, I have a very dull job. Paper pusher, mostly." He shrugged. "I hate it, but it's stable and it pays decent money so I can keep my godson properly spoiled." Now he grinned at the mention of Harry. "What about you? When you're not helping strangers who've been run over by demented couriers, or chatting with nice older shopkeepers, what do you do?"  
  
Remus raised his hand, waving it slightly. "I'm a writer, but it's not glamorous like you're about to think."  
  
Sirius arched an eyebrow. "You know what I'm going to think?"  
  
"Well, that's what everyone thinks when I tell them I'm a writer. I think they imagine it's romantic, me and a typewriter in a sparse flat, the floorboards bare except for discarded pages." Sirius thought that sounded wonderful. "But I live in a three-bedroom house with all the proper furniture and belongings, I put my discarded pages in the bin, and I don't write romantic novels."  
  
"You know, you should let people make their assumptions. It's nice thinking of the other thing."  
  
"But it's not real," Remus said. "Which maybe is odd coming from someone who writes, but then again, I never said I was a creative writer, did I?"  
  
Sirius nodded. "Point there. So what  _do_  you write?"  
  
Remus smiled a bit. "I'm mostly freelance, writing articles for magazines or newspapers. Sometimes I get hired to write copy for businesses. I'm flexible. Can't afford to be a starving author who slaves away at his lifetime masterpiece."  
  
"Never wrote a short story?"  
  
"Oh, sure, I have a few ideas. I do even have a thought for a novel, but that's a hobby, that's not a career." Remus scratched at the back of his neck. "I've never really felt very creative. I can string words together well enough, but storytelling is not my strength."  
  
Sirius shrugged. "Does it need to be? Sounds like you get along just fine."  
  
"Oh," Remus chuckled, "sometimes it would be easier if I could tell a story, absolutely."  
  
A sudden movement in the corner of his eye caught Sirius's attention, and when he looked he could see James waving him over. "Damn," he muttered, then smiled apologetically to Remus. "I've got to, um, go." He shifted his weight, unsure of what to say, then quickly blurted out, "Maybe next time we could accidentally bump into each other during lunch? Say, Tuesday at that chip shop near the Charing Cross tube? By St. James?" He stood very still, reminding himself that it was just lunch, mates did lunch, it didn't have to be a date.  
  
Remus tilted his head slightly. "Maybe we could, yeah." He smiled just slightly. "It was nice to see you again, Sirius. Even if you did have to crash my friend's wedding reception to do it."  
  
Sirius grinned. "Oi, don't be getting a big head about it, I had no idea you'd be here!"  
  
Remus winked. "You keep telling yourself that. Cheers, then." He turned and walked back towards the main group, hands in his trouser pockets, which pulled them a bit tighter across the arse, and Sirius found himself jumping at a touch on his shoulder.  
  
"You're really rather shameless, mate," James said softly. "Staring at a bloke's arse like that? I don't think you'll get a bridesmaid to go home with you now."  
  
Sirius scowled, embarrassed at having been caught out. "Like I really wanted twat anyway."  
  
"Oh  _that's_  classy," Lily said, coming up behind James. Sirius groaned. "Though the sentiment is far from surprising." She looked up at him, her green eyes sparkling with mischief. "Meet anyone interesting then?" she asked, not quite hitting an innocent tone.  
  
"You  _knew_  he'd be here?" Sirius asked, his voice a loud whisper. "What . . . how?"  
  
Looking entirely too smug for her own good, Lily explained. "I stopped by Bertha's place a week ago, to give her some moral support in the last bits of planning, and he was there helping Peter to not kill her." Lily chuckled. "Seems like a good man, Sirius."  
  
Sirius sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "So you thought you'd, what, set us up by sneaking me into the reception?"  
  
"Did it work?"  
  
He sighed again, then admitted reluctantly, "Yeah. I think. Maybe."  
  
Lily's smile grew wide. "Well there you have it then! Sirius's love life: sorted." She made a show of dusting off her hands, then slipped one through James's arm. "So now what? Any reason to stay on, or shall we head home?"  
  
James shook his head. "You're the one who's friends with the bride, Lil."  
  
Sirius nodded. "I think we should get out of here before I make a massive arse of myself and blow any slight chance I may have."  
  
"Well isn't that a mature response?" Lily poked Sirius's side. "Someone's got it bad. We can go, I don't think she should have married this bloke anyway. Let's go say our goodbyes, then. We can use the babysitter excuse if they beg us to stay."  
  
Sirius patted James's shoulder. "I'll make myself scarce. Meet you back at the car?"  
  
James nodded. "Yep." He leaned closer to Sirius and whispered, "I didn't know he would be here, I swear."  
  
Sirius smiled and shook his head. "It's fine, don't worry." He squeezed James's shoulder, then turned and headed back towards the exit, hoping his escape would go unnoticed. Once back at the car, he took the opportunity to quietly freak out.  
  
"What," he murmured to himself, "did I just  _do_?"  
  


* * *

  
Truth be told, it had been years since Sirius dated anyone, and even longer since he'd considered making any kind of move on a man when he wasn't sure the man would appreciate those moves being made by another man. When Sirius was first exploring his attraction to men on an emotional level—that is, once he'd decided to do more than just fuck them—he fancied himself armed with infallible gaydar and would walk the streets of London mentally labeling the men he passed as either hopelessly straight or open to a nice bit of cock. He learned the hard way that snap judgments rarely worked, and two black eyes later he considered his lesson learned. Since then he only picked up men from gay bars or clubs, or on one occasion he tried very hard to forget, a gay sex show in Soho. (Though really, was it a pick-up if they never actually left the cinema to fuck?)  
  
Remus Lupin wasn't setting off any particular warnings about his sexuality, and Sirius had to admit that flying blind like this was a right bastard. He was scared, plain and simple, and he spent most of Tuesday morning convincing himself that Remus was laughing at Sirius's attempts to chat up a straight man, and that he'd never show up to bump into Sirius for lunch.  
  
Lily called him about an hour before he planned to leave, trying to reassure him, reminding him that she'd met Remus as well, and that if she thought Sirius didn't have a chance, she would never have encouraged it. This made Sirius feel a little better, until he remembered after hanging up that she was the one to try and set him up with Gil Lockhart, who was in fact the ponciest straight man to ever live. Sirius didn't know which was more offensive: that Lily thought Sirius would _like_  a man like that, or that Gil thought being a fucking ponce would attract women.  
  
Still, Remus gave no indication of offensive ponciness, and Sirius didn't think that he had been entirely subtle in any of their encounters (though he would never admit that aloud). That, at least, seemed to tip the scale just over into the chances that Remus at least wasn't completely put off by the idea of shagging a man. Sirius hoped lunch would result in some solid information on the topic.  
  
After all, it was just lunch. Dinner would be a date, but lunch was just lunch, and they would just happen to bump into each other.  
  
Assuming the other man actually showed up.  
  
Sirius checked his watch; it was going on one o'clock, and the anticipation had lead to a number of shredded napkins, victims of his unexpected nerves. Every time he heard the bells at the door jingle as another patron entered, Sirius's head was snapping up, only to be disappointed when it wasn't Remus. He did realize that he hadn't specified an actual time, but he honestly thought that when people planned on lunch, they planned on about noonish. At the very least, he would have thought that if Remus  _didn't_  generally take lunch around noon, he would have been the one to ensure that Sirius was on the same page.  
  
When one o'clock came and went with no sign of Remus, Sirius figured it was time to stop mooning around and give up. He finished the last of his soda, licked the chip grease from his fingers and stood up to chuck his rubbish in the bin. He was bent over slightly, reaching for one of the shredded napkins, when someone bumped into his hip. He looked up sharply to find Remus at his side, looking wind-blown and apologetic.  
  
"I'm  _so_  sorry," Remus said, running a hand through his hair, which really made it look messier. "Something came up at home, and . . . well, I ran to the tube and I missed it by seconds, so then I decided I should just leg it over, but it was further than I realized and . . ." He took a deep breath. "Anyway, I'm so sorry I kept you waiting."  
  
Sirius blinked a few times, then smiled softly. "It's fine. Really. We still bumped into each other, right?" Oh  _god_ , he was hopelessly gone. It occurred to him that Remus could have confessed to robbing a bank as his excuse, and Sirius would say it was fine.  
  
Remus smiled, a little unsure-but-hopeful smile that twisted Sirius's guts in a funny way. "You, you don't have to get back to work, do you? Only I've practically run here, and I'm starving. Think I could get some chips, then we can, er, maybe go over to the lake in St. James's?"  
  
Nodding slowly, Sirius said, "I'll head that way. Maybe we'll bump into each other there?"  
  
The smile became more sure and relieved. "Maybe we will." He gestured towards the queue. "I better wait my turn. Suppose that's what I get for waiting for the late lunch rush, don't I?"  
  
Sirius tapped his nose and grinned. "That'll teach you. Well, nice to see you again." He nodded once, smiled quickly, threw away his rubbish, and headed out the door, needing a few minutes to gather his wits.  
  
He crossed the road, running his fingers through his hair and taking a deep breath. This . . . suddenly this had become more than simply lunch. Simply lunch wouldn't require rushing to meet up or apologies for being late. Being so keen to make amends meant that Remus didn't want to burn bridges, didn't want Sirius to give up.  
  
He wandered slowly towards the park, weaving his way through the crowds, trying to take the most direct route so Remus could find him easily. He nodded at the guards he passed, smiling a bit to himself as they remained motionless, remembering school days with James when they tried everything short of physically harming the guards at Buckingham Palace to make them move (all to no avail).  
  
The temperature had fallen since the day of the wedding, and while summer was still clinging to the city, the grip had loosened slightly. It was a rather nice day out, thankfully; it had occurred to Sirius that foul weather might keep them both inside today, but clearly that fear was unnecessary.  
  
He'd strolled for about fifteen minutes, skirting the edge of the park, not wanting to venture too deeply inside, not until he had company. The idea had just started to form in his mind that maybe Remus had changed his mind, or had simply thought of something that would pull him away, when he heard his name shouted over the din of the traffic. When he turned he saw Remus walking up to him, smiling brightly, a bag that seemed to hold more than chips held in his hand.  
  
"Well isn't this a nice surprise, bumping into you here?" Sirius asked, waiting for Remus to catch up.  
  
"Saw you as you left the chip shop," Remus replied, a sparkle in his eye as he improvised the new beginning to their meetup. "Thought I'd follow you. Would've caught up sooner, but I created a fuss by asking for some rolls," Remus explained. "They couldn't quite grasp the idea of having the rolls with nothing on them. I may have rather rudely asked if they'd never had people come by wanting to feed the ducks in the lake."  
  
Sirius grinned, nodding. "And what might they have said to that?"  
  
Remus proffered his bag. "I have rolls, don't I?"  
  
"Indeed you do," Sirius agreed, taking the bag and opening it enough to peek inside. "A few day-olds?"  
  
"I don't suppose the ducks will be too put off, do you?"  
  
"Oh no, I'm sure not. They'll rightly be grateful for the crumbs they can get before it all sinks."  
  
Remus gestured forward. "Onward, then? Charitably we shall go, into the throng and bearing bread?" Remus started walking without waiting for Sirius's agreement, but Sirius found himself following him, feet moving almost without instruction. He felt his lungs let out a terribly smitten sigh, and the image of himself trailing Remus around all day as a puppy clamored around his mind for a moment; it took a conscious effort to stand up straight and pick up his pace to walk at Remus's side as an equal.  
  
They were silent as they approached the lake. Sirius wondered what Remus might be thinking about, his own mind wandering through a number of reasonable and decidedly unlikely possibilities before he decided Remus might simply be considering how to distribute the bread to the needy knob of waterfowl. They came to the water's edge—or rather, the edge of where people were allowed to stand—and still without a word Remus lowered himself to the ground, crossing his legs and looking up at Sirius.  
  
"Going to join me?" he asked. He clenched his hand briefly, and Sirius wondered if Remus had stopped himself from patting the grass next to him.  
  
"Sure," Sirius said, flopping down as well, tossing the bag of rolls into Remus's lap and stretching his legs out in front of himself, leaning back on his elbows. "So. Er, nice day, yeah?"  
  
Remus ripped off a few chunks of bread and threw them out towards the water. He was quiet for a long moment, and Sirius was just wondering if he'd made some huge faux pas and offended the other man, when he finally said, "Look, I don't want to . . . I don't think it's fair to either of us to avoid this."  
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "This? 'Feeding the ducks' this?"  
  
"No. 'Bumping into each other for lunch' this. Or, rather, wondering how long we're just going to . . . bump into each other."  
  
"I swear, Remus, I never followed you or knew you were going to—"  
  
Remus shook his head quickly. "No, I know. I know that. I'm not accusing you of anything. You've done nothing wrong. Neither have I. I just think it would be better if we were . . . honest. Got a few things out in the open."  
  
Sirius swallowed. This was it, this was Remus trying to let him down gently, but let him down all the same. Remus was straight, and he didn't want to be trailed around by a twitterpated poof anymore.  
  
"I . . ." Remus looked up, turning towards Sirius, making sure they were making eye contact. "I think we're both feeling something here." He gestured vaguely between them. "Am I right?"  
  
Looking back at Remus, Sirius noticed a touch of nerves in his usually calm brown eyes, and for some reason that eased his own worries considerably. He nodded slowly. "I think you're right." He smiled a bit. "At least, I know I am, quite a bit. It might just be wishful thinking that you do, too."  
  
Remus smiled back, looking just the slightest bit relieved for the briefest of moments. "Not just that, no." He looked down, tore off another small piece of bread and threw it to the growing team of ducks. "Right then. Would it be fair of me to assume that this is not the first time you've . . . I mean, you are . . ." Remus looked over again, a faint blush on his cheeks, and Sirius couldn't help but chuckle a bit.  
  
"I  _am_ ," he said, sitting up and scooting closer to Remus. "I really rather am. You?"  
  
"Oh yes," Remus said quickly. "Undoubtedly. Well." He frowned slightly. "No doubt in  _my_  mind, anyway. And really that's the important part." He smiled again. "Sorry, that makes me sound like I'm just coming out or something."  
  
Sirius shook his head, though he really agreed a little. "You don't have to prove anything to me. I've been every kind of orientation possible, I think, before I really understood myself."  
  
Remus laughed softly. "I don't mean to turn this into a discussion of sexual fluidity. I just wanted to get . . . to get  _past_ that whole is-he-or-isn't-he part."  
  
"I can get behind that," Sirius murmured, bumping his shoulder into Remus's. "So what part comes next, then?"  
  
Remus checked his watch and sighed. "Unfortunately, I don't have much time. Think we could speed through the basics?" He looked over at Sirius, his eyes wide and hopeful.  
  
"I think so. Quick and vague, mysterious to pique each other's interest? Cliffhangers, perhaps?"  
  
Remus chuckled, nodding. "Maybe not cliffhangers, but the other stuff, yes." He tapped his chin. "Can I ask your age?"  
  
Sirius tutted and shook his head. "A lady never tells, and a gentleman never asks."  
  
"Mm, that is vague and mysterious. Well played. What about family, then?"  
  
"Oh, I can be  _quite_  vague and mysterious there." Sirius raised his hands, using a finger to tick off points on his other hand as he continued. "My mother didn't want me, my father considered me a terrible disgrace, and my brother once set fire to my school uniform." Remus looked taken aback, and Sirius laughed softly. "So how did I end up so normal, you ask? Got myself adopted into a better family. I'm a lovable stray, you see, and they needed someone to guard the house."  
  
Remus nodded, smiling. "You have a gift for piquing interest, Sirius Black. I'm really quite disappointed that I only have a few more minutes, which is clearly not enough time to discover the full story there."  
  
Sirius put his hand on Remus's arm. "Oi, you're not getting off so lightly here! What about your family?"  
  
Remus twisted his lips a bit. "My parents passed a few years back. Only child. Not really close to their families, my mother's side being mostly filled with arseholes and my father's side living in France and Italy."  
  
Sirius smiled softly. "I hope you have good friends to make up for that. It's not good to be all alone in the world."  
  
"Don't worry," Remus said with a wink. "I'm very much not alone in the world." He checked his watch again, then looked at Sirius apologetically. "And on that mysterious note, I really will have to go now."  
  
"Oh," Sirius said, nodding quickly and trying to not look completely devastated; at least Remus had given him that warning. "That's, that's fine. I understand."  
  
With a shake of his head, Remus reached out to touch Sirius's hand. "You don't. Not yet." He took a deep breath. "Look, before I go, let's make a plan to actually meet up properly. No bumping into each other?"  
  
Sirius smiled more easily, the promise of a next time buoying his mood. "That sounds great. Lunch again, or...?"  
  
Remus was already pulling out a notepad and a pen. "Here, give me your number. Once I clear some time in my schedule, I'll call you and we'll make specific plans." Sirius took it and scribbled out his phone number while Remus kept talking. "But I'm thinking maybe dinner?"  
  
Handing the pad back, Sirius nodded. "That sounds great. Really great, actually." He gave Remus a bright grin, then pushed himself to his feet, reaching one hand out to help Remus up. "Thanks for taking the time to come down. I'm really glad you did."  
  
Remus squeezed Sirius's hand just slightly, and held on a little longer than necessary to regain his balance. "I'm glad, too." He slid his hand out slowly, and Sirius could feel calluses dragging along his palm, sending a thrill along his spine.  
  
And then Remus was walking away, his pace quick as he headed for the nearest Underground station. Sirius sighed to himself, then looked down and noticed the half-torn roll and bag sitting on the ground. With a smile, he picked them up, tore the roll into a few more chunks and tossed them as far as he could into the water, then tucked the bag and remaining roll into his pocket, and turned away from the ducks diving competitively for their treat, sighing as he began to make his way back to the office.  
  


* * *

  
When his doorbell rang on Friday evening, Sirius took a deep breath, took a look around his living room to make sure everything was tidy enough, then opened his door and grinned.  
  
"Hi Sirius!" Harry said, stepping into the house past Sirius without being properly invited. He immediately ran upstairs, his bag bouncing along behind him.  
  
Sirius shook his head and laughed, shrugging at James, who looked as though he thought he should do something parental, but really didn't want to. "I suppose he knows the way by now, yeah?"  
  
"I should hope so," James said. "Look, you're  _sure_  you're okay with him the whole night? We can come get him once we're done. . . ."  
  
"Don't be daft," Sirius said, reaching out to touch James's arm. "He's always more than welcome here, you know that. And after a night on the town, it'll be nice for you and the missus to have the house to yourself." He winked and smirked at his best friend, whose eyes did have a particular little gleam giving away his thoughts.  
  
"True enough, mate. Oh, here." James reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wad of folded papers. "Emergency numbers, all the basic stuff that you probably know by now, but you know Lily."  
  
Sirius took the papers and tucked them into the back pocket of his jeans. "Don't worry, we're just going to eat pizza and too many sweets and suffer sugar rushes and crashes and bellyaches."  
  
James nodded. "So just a regular Friday night, then?" The car in the street honked lightly; James rolled his eyes. "I am summoned," he intoned. "Suppose I better get us there before the first act starts, yeah?"  
  
Sirius tapped his nose. "Have a good night. Don't do anything I would do." James had already turned back towards Lily—"Just coming, my darling girl!"—and raised two fingers at Sirius over his shoulder, at which Sirius just waved back laughing, before he closed the door and called up the stairs. "Oi, I'm starving! Come tell me what kind of pizza you want, sprog!"  
  
There was a thunder of footsteps from above, and then Harry was bounding down the stairs, jumping the last three as he always did. "No vegetables!" he demanded, looking quite sternly at his godfather.  
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "No? Not even . . .  _broccoli_?" On the last word he lunged, grabbing Harry up in his arms and starting to tickle him mercilessly, causing Harry to squeal loudly.  
  
"Euurgh! I  _hate_  broccoli!"  
  
Sirius grunted, taking a few quick steps over to the sofa to drop the boy onto it heavily. "Cor, maybe you should have veggies, you're getting so heavy!" He braced his arms on the back of the couch, leaning over to look at Harry. "Meat lover's, then?" Harry nodded happily, hands up in a defensive position, ready to react should Sirius make another aggressive tickle attack. "Right, kiddo! You can watch the telly, if you want. I'm going to call in for the pizza." He wandered into the kitchen to get the menu and phone number, wincing as the volume on the television suddenly skyrocketed. "Turn it down, or I can't call!" he shouted, and the television obeyed immediately, returning to a tolerable decibel level.  
  
He ordered the food quickly, writing the total on the notepad next to the phone as he hung up. Next to this new scribble was a slightly neater note, and Sirius couldn't help the grin that spread across his face as he looked at it, just like he had every time he saw it since he'd written it down two days prior.  
  
Michaelson's, 7:15 TIE?? OH GOD.  
  
Lily had, very kindly containing her snickers, assured him that he did not need a tie, though a nice shirt and jacket wouldn't be out of place. He bit the inside of his lip, trying to push back the insistent feeling of panic that was still trying to escape through his esophagus every time he thought about his date with Remus tomorrow night.  
  
Oh god. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.  
  
"Sirius! D'ya have any crisps?" Harry called from the living room, breaking Sirius out of his panicked moment. He pulled a bag from one of the cupboards, taking it out to the living room and flopping down onto the sofa next to Harry.  
  
"Here you are. Don't go spoiling your dinner, though," he said in a higher-pitched voice that managed to sound completely unlike Harry's mother. The boy laughed and dug into the snack, lifting his feet up onto the cushions, an act which Sirius felt absolutely no urge to discourage. After all, he was the boy's godfather—if he didn't let the lad get away with murder, who would?  
  
Two hours later found them lolling on the floor, pizza box open and showing the last remaining sliver that neither could manage to eat.  
  
"So then Susan ran to the teacher and told on me," Harry was saying, as he heaved a great sigh to show just how much he'd suffered, "and Ms Sprout called Mum at home that night and then Mum asked me  _why_  I kicked Susan in the shin and Dad laughed and asked me if I  _fancied_  her!" Harry paused for a breath and to make a face to share his displeasure. "I. Don't.  _Fancy her._ "  
  
Sirius raised his eyebrows and grinned. "No? Girls still full of bogies and lurgy?"  
  
Harry rolled his eyes, then pushed himself up to sit cross-legged. "Girls are just . . . eugh. Who needs 'em?" Harry tilted his head. "You know what I mean, though, right? I mean, you never fancy girls, either."  
  
Now Sirius coughed in surprised. "Erm. Well, no, not really. Not as such. But your old dad fancies your mum, fancies her rotten!"  
  
"Yeah," Harry said with a snort, "and look where  _that_  got him. Out at the stupid opera instead of watching the match with me."  
  
Sirius reached over with his foot and poked Harry's side. "But that means you got to come spend the night here!" He pouted a little bit, not really meaning it. After all, he'd been in Harry's place before, missing his best mate when James started to date Lily. James had a way of making people miss him almost physically.  
  
Harry smiled. "Yeah, I s'pose." He started flicking Sirius's toes with his fingers. "So. I mean, why don't you have a girlfriend or a wife or whatever anyway? You're cooler than my dad is, and he got my mum!"  
  
"Well." Sirius sighed, resigned to the fact that he'd really been quite lucky that his clever godson had taken this long to bring it up. "It's sort of like you said, really. I don't fancy girls anymore."  
  
"Oh," Harry said. He went quiet a moment, turning this over in his mind, then looked at Sirius and asked, "Do you fancy boys then? D'you have a boyfriend?"  
  
Sirius smiled, more than a little relieved that Harry got there on his own. "I do. Well, I like men, but I don't have a boyfriend." He felt his face warm just a bit as he thought of his date the next night. "Not right now, anyway."  
  
Harry nodded. "Okay." He crawled across the floor and snagged the last slice of pizza, then sat with his back against the couch, putting his attention back on the television. Sirius hesitated, unsure if he should let the subject go, or . . . well, or what?  
  
"What time was that match starting?" he ended up asking, just a little bit of hesitance in his voice.  
  
"I think it's on now," Harry said, his mouth full of pizza. He didn't move to change the station, apparently entertained enough by the quiz show that was on at the moment. "Mick O'Malley's sister is a lesbian, y'know," he added.  
  
Sirius did not know. "Is she? And how do you know?"  
  
Harry wrinkled his nose. "One of the older boys was shouting at Mick about it. He was a bastard about it." Sirius raised his eyebrow at the foul language, but he didn't correct the boy. "Calling her all sorts of mean names. Like it was Mick's fault." Harry looked over at Sirius, his nose wrinkled. "I don't think she'd like him even if she  _did_  like boys."  
  
With a smile, Sirius reached over and ruffled Harry's hair. "I think you're right." Harry ducked away, giggling a bit. "Did that kid get in trouble?"  
  
"Nah. Wasn't even at the school, it was in an alley on the way home. Mick just let the boy shout, eventually he went away."  
  
Sirius thought back, remembering the first time a peer had given him grief about his attraction to other boys. He'd given the boy a couple of black eyes and a broken nose, and he'd earned three days of suspension for himself, but he'd never been called a poof as an insult in school again. "I hope that's the end of it."  
  
"Yeah. I think it is. Want to watch the match now?"  
  
Sirius grinned back, thinking that his godson was pretty fantastic to handle that so easily. "Absolutely."  
  


* * *

  
Sirius had wanted to get to bed early, have a good long night's sleep and be well-rested for his date with Remus, but the match had gone into extra time, and Harry had been so hyper afterwards that they got to bed very late indeed. So Sirius woke up at nearly ten in the morning, to the sound of Harry dropping something in the kitchen. Sirius loved the boy, with all his heart, but sometimes he was very glad that he was able to pass him back over to James and Lily and have some peace restored.  
  
When that peace was returned, it occurred to Sirius that he might start panicking—he realized he had no idea what to wear that night and called Lily, frantic and almost incomprehensible in his state. Lily advised him to wear his nice blue shirt and a blazer, with smart pants. No tie, though, that part he remembered. She teased him slightly about what kind of a gay man he was who couldn't figure out what to wear on a first date, but he took it in the spirit intended, thanking her profusely until she hung up on him.  
  
He had a small tea, not wanting to spoil his appetite—or make himself queasy right before they were to meet up—and when he finally allowed himself to look at the clock again, he realised it was time to shower. He felt the fear start to ebb, being replaced by careful excitement, a weird sort of optimism that played at being real confidence, though he knew it was merely bravado.  
  
"He likes me," he muttered to his reflection in the mirror. "He won't suddenly hate me."  
  
The last hour before he had to leave was a blur of false self-confidence and fixing his hair. He soon found himself walking to the Underground station, double-checking that he had his wallet and money—money! Who was going to pay tonight? Should he insist? Let Remus insist? Should they split? What if Remus assumed Sirius would pay?  
  
For a brief moment, while the tube shuttled him under the city to the restaurant, he considered not getting off, just staying on and never leaving. But when his stop was called, he got to his feet without even thinking about it, and his legs carried him up to the street. He relaxed slightly, glad to know at least some part of him was certain about what he wanted.  
  
He glanced at his watch as he approached the restaurant—about quarter-to; early, though not ridiculously so. Quite likely that Remus was not there yet, so when it became clear that Remus was  _not_ , Sirius stamped down on the flicker of panic and doubt that threatened to set him off running. What would James say if he knew that his best mate was in this kind of state? For years James had been jealous of Sirius's easy way of thinking about sex and love, which didn't really leave room for nervousness. Sirius wasn't too surprised himself, though; there was  _something_  here, he knew it in the nucleus of every cell in his body, and even if everything went fantastically tonight, that was a fairly scary idea.  
  
There was a bench outside the restaurant, presumably for people who were waiting for a table to open up, so Sirius sat, trying to keep himself from constantly looking down the road and watching for Remus. Even harder to resist was the urge to check his watch every few seconds, his heart beating faster as the time approached seven o'clock, then passed it, and ticked onward to quarter-past with still no sign of the other man.  _What if he stands me up?_  
  
Oh, and what was the protocol if their reservation time arrived before Remus? Should he go in to get their table, let Remus find him later? After all, Remus had been late before, what if he was just the chronically late sort of man?  
  
His wondering and concern was all for naught, though, as just then someone slid onto the bench next to him. "I think we'll get better service if we go inside, don't you?"  
  
Sirius grinned and turned to look at Remus. "Probably, that's true. I just wanted to sit out here for a bit longer." He looked over his dinner companion, appreciating the man's dark green jumper and neat chinos. He looked gorgeous, and Sirius was more than slightly tempted to suggest that they skip dinner entirely and go back to his place for dessert.  
  
"Want to go in now? I'd hate to lose our table." One eyebrow arched, lips quirking, and Sirius was fairly certain he wasn't completely imagining the teasing glint in Remus's eyes.  
  
"Sure, let's go. I could use a drink, too." He stood, waiting a moment while Remus stood as well, and together they walked inside. It was a few minutes while the maître d' made sure their table was ready, but soon they were sitting at a small table in the back corner. They ordered drinks and a starter to share, and when the waiter had left them alone, Remus let out a soft sigh.  
  
"It's nice to be able to relax, finally," he said, sipping at his water. "It's been a busy few days, and I felt so rushed this afternoon trying to meet a deadline."  
  
"Were you successful?" Sirius asked, hoping he wasn't keeping Remus from important work.  
  
"I was," Remus said, "mostly because I told myself that if I didn't finish by three I'd have to call off tonight, and I really didn't want to do that." He smiled at Sirius, then looked down with a hint of bashfulness. Oh, but Remus was adorable.  
  
"Then I'm even more glad that you were able to meet it," Sirius said, grinning back. "I've . . . well, I've really been looking forward to this."  
  
"So have I." Remus took another sip of water. "So, you never really explained what it is you do for a living. Other than it being dull with a good wage, that is."  
  
Sirius chuckled. "Didn't I? Oh, that's probably because it really is dull. I'm in finance, I help businesses that are in financial distress turn things around."  
  
Remus's eyes widened. "Is that so? That's not dull, I imagine that would be quite interesting, actually. Is it the sort of thing where you give them a tighter budget, or do you do more than that?"  
  
Pleased that Remus was at least faking the interest, Sirius smiled and explained. "The tighter budget is definitely an important part of it, yes. But we also help to pay things off to their creditors and get out of debt, help them understand how to invest in the company with personal funds, how to make better business decisions even before the wallet comes into play, all of it."  
  
"How often do businesses you help end up back in trouble?"  
  
Sirius laughed and rolled his eyes. "More often than we'd like, that's for certain. I mean, ideally we'd never have anyone come back to us for help again and continue being successful forever, but we've taken probably half of our customers back a second time. We look at what happened, if it was a problem with our plans, or if they just ignored what we said. If it's the former, we re-do the job for free. If it's the latter, we go over it again with them at half the price, but after that they don't get to come back to us."  
  
Remus nodded. "So you never have customers come back for a third time?"  
  
Sirius shrugged. "It's happened on occasion. Big changes in the market in a particular business will require changes that some places think they need us for. But ultimately they learn that one bad way to spend money is to be told how to spend money, so they figure it out or fail."  
  
"Sounds reasonable. I can see how it might get dull after a while, especially if you keep seeing the same mistakes being made."  
  
Sirius tapped his nose. "That's really it. That and the lack of common sense. People who give their executives control of the credit cards and then are afraid to call them out on wasteful spending, all that sort of thing."  
  
"What would you be doing if you weren't doing that?" Remus asked, tilting his head slightly. "I mean, is that what you went to school for, or did you really want to do something else?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know. I might like to run my own business one day. I have a nice list of Don'ts I can use if I ever do."  
  
"That's true, you do. What kind of business?"  
  
"Well, that's really why I haven't done anything with it—I don't know! There's nothing I really know a  _lot_  about that I think has a gap that needs to be filled."  
  
Remus nodded. "I'm sure once the inspiration hits, you'll be able to run with it."  
  
"So, you said you had a deadline you had to meet? I'm guessing it's something you had to write?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. Actually, it was something I was re-writing. I'd submitted it about a month ago, and I got it back a couple days ago with edit notes all over it and suggestions for material, so I had to fix it up and write entirely new parts and make it all flow together. . . ." Remus sighed. "And of course they gave me seventy-two hours to do it, with no warning so I had to work it into the three other deadlines I'm working to meet this month."  
  
Sirius looked sympathetic. "Was it at least something interesting you were working on?"  
  
The waiter arrived then, depositing plates and starter, and took their orders for their main course, before Remus was able to respond. "Luckily, yes. It's an article for a magazine, a subject I have a lot of experience with, so I don't mind being told to write more about it. It's the deadline that kills me though, you know?"  
  
"Yeah, I understand. We don't often have deadlines to contend with. Well," Sirius shook his head, "I shouldn't say that. We'll often get told our customer has to submit a budget in a certain amount of time, and if they waited too long and are coming to us in a panic, sometimes that time is quite short. But we make no guarantees under six weeks, which is usually more than enough time, so if they come to us with two weeks to go and they start up a fuss, we can tell them to go scratch." He grinned, taking a bite of his prawn cocktail decisively.  
  
Remus laughed. "I sometimes get lucky and can tell people who are waiting for my stuff to shove it, but only if I don't need the money and am willing to never work for them again. It doesn't happen often, but occasionally it's a nice feeling."  
  
They continued talking as they waited for their food, sharing stories from their university days and other silly things that had happened over their lives, though at times Sirius got the feeling that Remus was talking around something, as though he wasn't sure if it was appropriate to bring up at this point, or if it was best saved for some other date.  
  
Sirius had had the feeling once before, about two years ago, and as such it made him nervous. That time, his date had waited until the third date to come out with what had been on his mind: he'd been positive. It might have been easier to understand the other man's reticence to share . . . but Sirius had given him a blow job after the second date, and the next year had been hugely stressful as he took a number of blood tests until he was convinced that he was safe. It had been a bad scare, and since then Sirius was more careful about not assuming that positive men would be so open about their health.  
  
He really,  _really_  hoped that wasn't what Remus was dancing around tonight.  
  
Dessert—proper dessert, not a euphemism—was finally served, and as they shared a large slice of chocolate cake with raspberry filling, Remus took a deep breath.  
  
"Look, I know it's the time of night when we're both wondering if this ends here tonight, or if it'll continue, or thinking about next time, which . . . I think that's good, and I'd really like for there to be a next time." Sirius just nodded, his stomach clenching slightly, unsure if he should be hopeful or expect something terrible to be said next. "But I do need to tell you something, and I don't think anything should happen until you've thought it all over."  
  
Sirius held up a hand. "Remus, I'd really like for there to be a next time, too. I haven't expected anything more tonight, so you won't be letting me down. . . ."  
  
Remus shook his head. "Just, let me say this? I don't date very much, and when I do meet someone I like it usually doesn't work out because of this one thing. So I'll understand if it's a deal-breaker for you." Sirius nodded, not saying a word as he'd been asked even though he really wanted to say there wasn't  _anything_  Remus could say right now to put him off for good.  
  
"Sirius, about five years back I was married. We're divorced, have been for the better part of the time since then. I wouldn't have married her at all, wouldn't have been with her even. But we have a son, Sirius."  
  
To his shock and slight dismay, Sirius actually made a slight choking sound in response. Of all the things he never expected to hear! "You . . . you have a  _son_?" Remus's face, which had been holding a carefully hopeful look, suddenly dropped at Sirius's question. "No, no, that just . . . that just surprised me." Sirius laughed a bit. "I was expecting something a lot more . . . dire."  
  
Remus bit his lip. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything before, only it's not an easy subject to just randomly bring up."  
  
Sirius shook his head. "Trust me, I've had things that were held back for multiple dates, and they were a lot worse."  
  
"Okay. I didn't say it before because I didn't . . . well, I didn't want it to possibly stop this before we even gave it a shot. And I didn't want you to think that I was expecting anything from you."  
  
Sirius nodded. "I understand. Honestly. So, uh, why did you bring it up now?"  
  
Remus poked his fork into the cake absently. "I think we had a really nice night, and I think . . . I think this could really go somewhere." He looked up at Sirius through his eyelashes. "And you'd have to find out about him eventually, even meet him, and if the idea of getting into something where there's a child involved bothers you, then I don't want us to go through all that effort just to . . ." He sighed and shrugged.  
  
Sirius licked his lips, then put down his coffee and reached over to touch the back of Remus's hand. "Remus, I like kids. I  _adore_  my godson. Being honest, I never thought about having my own, and I never thought I'd want to date someone who happened to have children, but it's not a deal-breaker." He smiled and raised his eyebrows hopefully.  
  
"Good," Remus said, his shoulders dropping as he relaxed. "That's good. I'm glad. But, you know, I don't know if you should decide this right  _now_. We did have a really nice dinner, and I'm sure the cake is going to your head," he teased, turning his hand so his palm lightly touched Sirius's. "Take a few days, really think about what it could mean. Think about what it might mean if we don't work out in the end. And then you can call me." He reached with his other hand into his back pocket, pulling out a small scrap of paper, which he held out for Sirius to take.  
  
"Ooh, I can call you next time?" Sirius took the paper, confirmed that it was, indeed, a phone number, and slipped it into his own trouser pocket. "How long would you like me to wait before I call and tell you exactly what I said just now again?"  
  
Remus chuckled. "Give it until Monday night, and act like you've really put a lot of thought into it?"  
  
Sirius smiled and nodded. "I will, then. But for now, let's finish  _this_  date—after all, I might yet muck it up entirely and turn you off me forever!"  
  
Forty-five minutes later they left the restaurant, smiling and laughing, heading towards the tube station together, fingers linked and spirits high.  
  


* * *

  
"So he wants me to really  _think_  about it," Sirius said, wiping his forehead with his hand and breathing a little harder than normal.  
  
James grunted, turning as he shifted a large crate to the side. "Have you?" he asked, standing once the crate was moved. "I mean, thought about it?"  
  
Sirius huffed and bent down to pick up another box. He'd come over to have a chat with James, but Lily was demanding that James finish clearing out the attic before evening, and so Sirius was dragged into helping. At least it gave him time alone with James; he loved Lily, but he wasn't sure he wanted her opinion on the matter quite yet.  
  
"I . . . well, sort of? I guess the only problem would be if me and the kid hit it off but Remus decided he wanted to break up?"  
  
James snorted. "You don't think you'll be the one to break up with him?"  
  
Sirius blinked. "Should I be? Do I usually do that sort of thing?"  
  
"No, I just mean, it's funny that you're assuming if it ends, he'll be the one ending it, not you. I'm not sure what that means, really, but yeah, it's funny."  
  
"Oh." Sirius shrugged. "I guess I just don't see why I'd want to break it off yet. But that's not the point!"  
  
"I know," James said calmly. "You're worried about his son getting attached to you and then you leaving his life." James crossed his arms. "I think that's kind of Remus's entire point, don't you?"  
  
"You don't think it's simply concern that I wouldn't want to help raise a kid?"  
  
James nodded. "Sure, it's that, too. But that's just part of it. He's not worried about  _why_  you two might split, just that if it happens then it's three people who have to get over it, not just two."  
  
"Mm," said Sirius, pushing his hair behind his ear. "I guess that's the risk he takes? Not to sound callous or anything, just saying. If you've got a kid and you're going out with someone, it's part of the whole thing."  
  
"Look," James said, rolling his neck, "it's not like I've done a lot of dating with Harry in the picture, but if I  _had_  to, I think what I'd be most concerned about is that whoever I was going out with understood that they  _were_  sort of going out with my kid, too. If you break up, you'll have to break up with the kid, especially if you've developed a relationship. It's not unlike a divorce, not to the kid, anyway."  
  
Sirius nodded slowly, understanding the concern on a bigger scale than he'd previously considered. "That's true. Kid won't understand the difference, will he? He'll just see someone leaving him."  
  
"It probably helps that his folks are already divorced. How old is he, anyway?"  
  
Sirius held up a hand, fingers spread. "He's five. Remus said he and his ex-wife tried it for a year after he was born before deciding to give it up and just get divorced. So the boy's always known them as split."  
  
James bent back down and picked up another box, handing it over to Sirius. "So it's not like he's even gone through the divorce. So. It might still be tough."  
  
Sirius swallowed, afraid of what his best friend was suggesting. "Do you think I shouldn't bother?"  
  
"What?" James pushed his glasses up his nose. "Why would you think I was saying that? I'm not. You just need to understand that if it ends, you'll have to take care with the boy. If you understand that going into it, it'll be better all around. And that's what Remus wants you to get before you go further."  
  
"Okay," Sirius said, nodding. "So just . . . I need to think of it like I'm going out with both of them?"  
  
"Basically. I wouldn't explain it that way to random people on the street," James added, chuckling, "but it's a good way to think of it to yourself."  
  
"Right." Sirius took a deep breath. "James," he said, a slight whine in his voice, "I  _really_  like this bloke. He's . . . I can't even describe how he makes me feel. I'm willing to do anything to be with him."  
  
James raised an eyebrow. "Anything? Really?"  
  
"He wouldn't ask anything unreasonable. I'm sure of it." Sirius sighed. "I could fall for him hard," he admitted, his voice soft and almost embarrassed at the sentiment.  
  
"Have you snogged him yet?" James asked, punching Sirius in the arm. Sirius rubbed the spot and smiled a ridiculously goofy smile as he thought back to last night, as they had parted ways at a station. Remus was saying something about how he hated to end a date in such a public setting—or something, Sirius hadn't really been paying attention. Instead he'd been trying to memorize the feel of Remus's hand in his, the way Remus's tongue would peek out every few words as the man spoke; he'd been trying to block out the sounds of everyone else in the Underground with them so that he could get the nerve to lean in just a little more....  
  
But he'd not had a chance to do it, because he saw those lips say "fuck it" and the next thing that Sirius knew, he was kissing Remus and it was soft and a little shy and  _brilliant_ , and he thought he'd heard some wanker let out a whistle, but that didn't matter because all he could think was "Remus" and "kissing" and kissing was the greatest invention _ever—_  
  
"Hellooooooo in there!" James said, and suddenly Sirius was back in his idiot best mate's attic, with said idiot best mate waving his hand in Sirius's face.  
  
Sirius sighed heavily. " _Not_  that it's any of your business, Mr Busy-body Potter, but  _yes_ , we kissed." It took great effort of will to not slide back into the daydream of memory.  
  
James snickered. "Sounds like you've got it pretty bad." His grin softened. "I hope it all works out well," he said. "You deserve someone brilliant, mate."  
  
Sirius grinned brightly. "Damn right I do."  
  


* * *

  
When Sirius called Remus on Monday evening, he started the conversation with, "So how many dates do you think is proper before I meet this cracking young boy of yours?"  
  
Remus laughed, warm and relieved even over the phone line, and replied with, "I think probably a few more, but maybe in a couple of weeks?" He continued on with the conversation, explaining that the piece he'd been working on over the weekend was about being a gay parent—he did not ever ask if Sirius was sure about his decision. Sirius appreciated the trust within that non-question, that Remus took it to heart that Sirius had done his thinking and come to this conclusion in a manner that was anything but light.  
  
They planned their second date for that Thursday, meeting at a cinema in Sirius's neighborhood. Remus dropped by to pick him up, and they walked over together, not letting the slight drizzle bother them. Sirius didn't want to be too forward and kept his distance, but they'd not gone even a full block before Remus stepped close and threaded their fingers together, either unaware or uncaring of the look they received from a pair of elderly women who were passing by as he made the move.  
  
It was early yet when they purchased their tickets, and it was a lovely autumn evening, so Sirius suggested that they wait outside for a little longer before finding seats.  
  
"So I suppose you're not ashamed to be seen with me, then?" Remus asked, teasing and poking at Sirius's side.  
  
"Oh, I'm terribly ashamed, but such is my lot in life," he replied, heaving a heavy sigh. "I suppose it could be worse, though. You are quite attractive, and I suspect people are quite jealous of me."  
  
Remus chuckled. "Oh, I don't know," he said, his voice a murmur, "I think they're more jealous of me." Sirius turned to look over at Remus, catching the other man giving him a  _very_  pointed look; his stomach twitched and his skin came alive under that look.  
  
"Careful," Sirius muttered back, "or I may suggest we just find a nice dark alley and do terribly naughty things."  
  
"Mmm, I suppose that would be bad. Would hate to have to explain to Teddy one day why his father has a police record."  
  
Sirius swallowed at the casual way Remus mentioned his son; he'd done this a couple times since the phone call on Monday, and Sirius was beginning to realise how difficult it must have been for Remus to  _not_  bring him up before. "I'd just tell him it was my fault," he replied, smiling a bit at the idea of still being together "one day."  
  
When, halfway through the film, Remus's fingers found their way to Sirius's knee and began to lightly run over his jeans, Sirius totally lost his focus and couldn't quite remember how the film ended. When they stepped back outside they found that the weather had stayed clear, so they walked back to Sirius's place at a casual stroll. Once they arrived at his door, Sirius took his keys out of his pocket, wondering if he should ask the question he was dying to ask, or just say goodnight. Oh . . . oh  _bollocks_.  
  
He turned to Remus, biting his lip slightly. "So, do you have to, um, get back yet? For a babysitter or anything? Or...?"  
  
Remus grinned. "Teddy's with his mother for the next couple of weeks." He raised an eyebrow. "Why, was there something you wanted to ask?"  
  
"Oh, play dumb why don't you?" said Sirius, chuckling and tugging on Remus's sleeve. "Want to come in for a bit?"  
  
Remus made a show of considering the question carefully, before finally stepping up fully onto the stoop, close to Sirius. "I think that'd be nice, sure." He smiled slowly, warm and encouraging. Sirius felt his breath catch, and he turned back to the door and fumbled with his keys in the door. He got it open without another word, gesturing for Remus to go in first. "Thank you," Remus said with a nod, brushing past him deliberately.  
  
Sirius took a deep breath as he closed the door behind them both, then threw his keys onto the table by the door and pointed in towards the living room. "Sofa's in there, have a seat. Make yourself at home. D'you need anything to drink?"  
  
Remus looked in at the room, then back at Sirius as he crooked his finger. "I'm fine right now. Come here."  
  
Sirius felt that he should be bouncing around the room, but his insides felt tight and his nerves were about to do him in. He took a few steps over, watching Remus's face carefully. "Can I help you?" he asked, aiming for light-hearted but still sounding a bit nervous.  
  
Remus nodded slowly, and spoke quietly. "I've been dying to kiss you all night, and now that we're in your house I think we better do it before I go insane."  
  
Licking his lips, Sirius nodded back. "That's probably a good idea."  
  
"I always have good ideas," Remus whispered. He stepped closer and leaned in, stretching up just a bit to match Sirius's height, and...  
  
Oh.  
  
Just like the other night, Remus's lips were warm and soft, gentle against his own, and Sirius had to use all his strength to remain standing at the sensation. He kissed Remus back, pressing against him harder, and when he heard a low sound come from one of them, he lost his remaining self-restraint and wrapped one arm around Remus's waist, licking his tongue across Remus's lips. Remus whimpered and their tongues touched and before Sirius knew it their mouths were open and they were snogging deeply. Remus's hands came up to tangle in Sirius's hair, and the brush of fingertips against his scalp drew another soft moan from Sirius; he took a step forward and pushed Remus back against the wall, grinding up against him—  
  
They were both getting hard, and if he didn't stop now, he'd find it nearly impossible to leave this at snogging. He pulled away suddenly, breathing hard, and he leaned his forehead against Remus's.  
  
Remus grunted, one hand dropping to rest at the small of Sirius's back. "I . . . oh I could get addicted to that."  
  
Sirius laughed a bit, his eyes still closed. "Think I already am, Remus." He swallowed, wondering what it was about this man that felt so right, so intoxicating, that made him so needy...  
  
"We should sit. Or . . . or should I go?" Remus asked, the last part quiet and reluctant.  
  
"Don't go," Sirius said, his eyes opening quickly. He didn't even care how desperate he sounded. "We'll go sit down, but don't go yet? Please?"  
  
Remus smiled and kissed him again quickly. "I won't go. Do you have some wine?"  
  
Sirius grinned. "I do, yes. Red?"  
  
Remus nodded. "Yes, I'd love a glass. Then we can sit and talk and try to keep our hands off each other for at least fifteen minutes."  
  
Sirius stepped back and groaned. "Ahh, you know I can't resist a challenge, but that's a tough one!" He winked and started walking to the kitchen. "Glass of wine, coming right up. Go get comfortable." He quickly picked out the best bottle he had—it wasn't a large collection, but the few bottles he had were impressive, and he'd been saving this particular one for quite some time now.  
  
He carried the glasses into the living room, noting happily that Remus looked quite good on his sofa. "Here you are," he said, handing one glass over to Remus. "Are we toasting?"  
  
"Of course," Remus said, holding up his glass. "To reckless couriers."  
  
Sirius grinned. "And to crashing weddings." They clinked and sipped, watching each other and both trying not to grin too widely lest they dribble over their shirts.  
  
Two hours later, and they were warm from the wine and kissing lazily, stretched out over the couch, still fully dressed save their shoes. Sirius was trying to remember the last time he simply made out for the sake of making out, not as a means to an end.  
  
"It's late," Remus whispered, pulling away and resting his head on Sirius's chest.  
  
Sirius sighed, tightening his arms around Remus just slightly. "Mm. You have to go?"  
  
Remus yawned. "I . . . oh. Sorry. Was saying, I think . . . that is, it might be better if I . . ." He trailed off, and Sirius cocked his head to look at Remus, surprised at the flush he saw on the man's cheeks.  
  
"You can stay here if you like," Sirius said softly. "I've got a spare room, if you—"  
  
"No," Remus said quickly, his fingers curling into Sirius's shirt. "I mean, I don't need a spare room. That's silly." His fingers relaxed, and he moved his hand lightly over Sirius's chest. "I don't really want to move."  
  
Sirius wondered if his heartbeat was as loud to Remus as it was in his own ears. "Then don't," he whispered, then kissed Remus's forehead.  
  
Remus closed his eyes. "I feel safe with you. I like that."  
  
"Good." Sirius reached over carefully, trying not to jostle Remus as he pulled a blanket from the back of the couch and spread it over them. "Means you won't go anywhere for a while."  
  
"Mm. Stayin' here."  
  
Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus, and he didn't speak as he felt Remus grow heavier as he fell asleep. Sirius drifted into a light doze, staying there just long enough to wonder if it was too soon to be in love with this man, and if it was too late to stop himself from falling anyway, before he too fell asleep.  
  


* * *

  
The phone woke Sirius the next morning; he groaned and then started as he realized there was a heavy lump spread out over him.  _Remus stayed_ , he remembered, and his lips found their way into a wide grin. Despite the uncomfortable couch, he thought that might have been the best night's sleep he'd ever had.  
  
The ringing stopped, and the answering machine picked up; the voice leaving a message was low and feminine, and Sirius realised that it was probably his supervisor. He craned his neck to check the clock on the wall: half-past nine. _Shit._ For a brief moment he considered ignoring the call, at least for now, and calling out sick later, plead a bad night and that he didn't wake up until just then. But he realised that he didn't know Remus's schedule, and it would probably be best for them to have normal days and a proper end to last night's date.  
  
He gently pushed Remus's hair off the side of his face. "Remus," he whispered, trying to not startle the sleeping man, "Remus, wake up. It's a Friday morning, and I don't know if you have deadlines to meet. . . ."  
  
Remus made a sleepy sound and shifted enough to make his morning erection more than obvious. Sirius grinned and spoke again, a little louder. "Remus, I need to get up. And I think you need to piss." Always the charmer, that Sirius Black.  
  
"Mmmm," said Remus, nuzzling his face into Sirius's neck, but it felt deliberate, a sign of his conscious state.  
  
"Waaaaaake uuuuuuup!" Sirius sang softly, tracing a finger down Remus's jaw. "If you get up I can go brush my teeth and then I can kiss you." Now he felt Remus's mouth curve into a smile against his neck, and he knew Remus was awake and stalling for a lie-in. "I know you're awake, you daft thing. C'mon, you're  _heavy_."  
  
Remus wiggled on top of him for a moment, then grunted. "Fuck, I do have to piss," he said, voice rough with sleep. Sirius laughed softly. "M'kay. Gettin'p." Remus yawned, then pushed himself up slightly, looking at Sirius with sleepy eyes and smiling. "Morning, Sirius."  
  
Sirius smiled back. "Good morning, Remus."  
  
Remus turned and stood. "Loo. Going to the loo." He ran a hand through his mussed hair, looking around in confusion. "Forget where the loo is."  
  
"Over that way," said Sirius with a snicker. "Back next to the kitchen."  
  
Remus nodded. "Right. I'll be back then." He stepped past Sirius, touching his hand to Sirius's head as he did.  
  
Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, then sat up and stretched, cracking his back. He needed to go listen to that message from work, but he didn't want Remus to overhear and think he'd gotten Sirius in trouble.  
  
He considered going upstairs and relieve himself; after that, he could offer Remus use of his shower, and take that time to call in and tell them . . . well, what would he tell them? He could say he simply overslept and would be in soon, or he could plead sick and call off that day. Before he could do anything, however, he heard the toilet flush, and Remus's footsteps were coming back again.  
  
"Shit, you have work today, don't you?" Remus asked as he stepped up to the couch again, leaning over the back. Sirius turned to look at him, nodding, hoping he looked as disappointed as he felt. "I won't keep you, then," he said, leaning in to kiss Sirius's cheek, then pulling back and standing up straight.  
  
Sirius shook his head. "You don't have to go," he said.  _What am I doing?_  he thought.  _Aren't I trying to give us a break?_ "I mean, at least not before you have a shower. Up the stairs, to your right, if you'd like."  
  
Remus nodded. "That would feel a little less like a walk-of-shame when I leave." He grinned. "Up and to the right?"  
  
Once Remus was upstairs and Sirius heard the water start to flow— _don't think about him being naked in your shower, Black_ —he went into the kitchen and hit the button to get his messages. As he'd thought, it was his boss calling to find out if everything was okay, and was he planning on coming in that day? Sirius sighed, knowing he'd have to make a decision soon about what to do for the day.  
  
Realising he was starving, he opened the fridge and started pulling out some quick breakfast foods, simple things he could offer to Remus as well. Assuming, that was, that Remus would want to stick around longer; he did mention the "walk of shame", did that mean he regretted spending the night? It wasn't as if anything had happened.  
  
Oh. What if Remus had  _wanted_  something to happen?  
  
Sirius shook his head, telling himself to stop being foolish. Nothing about Remus had suggested that Remus wouldn't speak up if he wanted something. Ergo, if he didn't say he wanted to do more than snog, then he didn't want to.  
  
He'd almost finished his cereal when Remus came back down, looking more awake and fresher after the wash. Remus walked over to where Sirius stood against the counter, and Sirius smiled quickly as he chewed his mouthful and gestured to the kitchen, indicating that Remus should help himself.  
  
Remus shook his head and smiled. "I'm fine, thanks. I should probably get going, lest I distract you from your duties."  
  
Sirius swallowed and put down the bowl. "I hadn't called in, yet. Wasn't sure . . . you know, what to say." He wiped his mouth with his fingers.  
  
"Go to work, Sirius," Remus insisted. "Go in and give your excuses. I should get home myself, do some work on a new project. But I'll call you tonight?"  
  
Quite suddenly, Sirius was certain that he couldn't wait that long to speak to Remus again. "No, here. . . ." He grabbed a pad of paper and scribbled out his work number. "Call me sometime this afternoon. I'll probably work late to make up for this morning. It'll be nice to have a break to talk to you."  
  
Remus took the paper and tucked it into his pocket. "Then I will." He walked up to Sirius and kissed him softly, lingering just too long to really be considered chaste. "Come over to my place this weekend," he said as he pulled away. "I'll make dinner."  
  
Sirius grinned brightly. "That sounds wonderful, okay."  
  
"Bring a change of clothes, too," Remus said with a wink as he started to back out of the kitchen.  
  
Sirius's grin turned mischievous. "Is that so?" he asked, following Remus. "You have plans for me, then?"  
  
Remus shrugged, then turned around to walk to the door properly. "I guess you'll have to find out!"  
  
"Oi," Sirius said, picking up his pace and catching up to Remus, sliding his arms around the other man's waist. "Not right to tease a man before he's got to go to work," he murmured in Remus's ear, flicking his tongue lightly across the shell and grinning when he felt Remus shudder just slightly.  
  
"Life isn't fair." Remus turned and kissed Sirius briefly, but not without a hint of what he might have in mind. Sirius swooned a little, letting the dramatics cover for the explosion of butterflies in his intestines.  
  
"You better leave now, or I might never get to work," he said, his voice low and rough. Remus just chuckled, kissed him again, then opened the door and stepped out. Sirius leaned against the doorframe, watching as Remus left.  
  
"I'll talk to you later!" Remus called out as he got down to the sidewalk.  
  
Sirius smiled and waved. "You better!" He felt his heart leap as Remus blew him a kiss, then watched as Remus walked to the end of the block and turned the corner, heading towards the Underground station. Once he was out of sight, Sirius sighed, then stepped back inside and closed the door, taking a last moment to collect himself before going upstairs to get ready for his day.  
  


* * *

  
That weekend, as he packed his overnight bag, he gave himself a short pep-talk—not that he would ever admit to such a thing if anyone asked. It wasn't as if he'd never done this before, or even that it had been terribly long since the last time. He couldn't remember ever being quite as excited as he was for this time, though, and truth be told there was a part of him that cautioned against assuming anything about Remus's plans. Even so—even considering the plan that Remus just wanted Sirius's help clearing brush in the garden for autumn and a bit of snogging—Sirius was really looking forward to it all.  
  
He grinned hugely when he caught his reflection in the mirror next to his bedroom door. Even with that small voice trying to keep his feet on the ground, he was fairly certain this was going somewhere. He tried not to think about anything beyond that night, but he was already hoping to meet Remus's son, worrying that the boy might not like him, because how important would his approval be to Remus? Sirius thought it might be very important indeed, which was a terrifying thought when he let himself think it.  
  
But he wanted to give it a shot, and give it his best.  
  
Lily had been very encouraging that afternoon when he mentioned it while he was over for lunch with the Potters; she seemed to think that Sirius would do just fine with Remus's son whenever they eventually met, and that in her opinion as a parent, Remus wouldn't have brought sex into the relationship yet if he didn't feel certain enough that this would go somewhere, too. That assurance buoyed him through the rest of the afternoon, until he finally left for Remus's house.  
  
He knocked on the door right on time, having forced himself to walk around the block once when he realised he'd arrived fifteen minutes early and not wanting to put Remus in an awkward spot in case he wasn't ready yet. The door opened immediately, though, suggesting that perhaps Remus had been waiting at the door for Sirius to show.  
  
Remus smiled widely. "I do like a man who is punctual," he said, reaching out to take Sirius's bag.  
  
Sirius took advantage of the momentary proximity and kissed Remus hello, which Remus returned for a short time before stepping back. "I see I've found the right house, then."  
  
Remus chuckled. "You found me just fine. Here, I'll put this at the stairs, then give you a tour." Sirius nodded, letting Remus play the role of host as he looked around the small entrance way. There was a small cupboard ahead of him with a number of colored lines rising from the floor. Sirius frowned for a moment, then grinned when he realised what it was: a height chart for Remus's son. No, Teddy. He had to start thinking of him as Teddy, really.  
  
"You can come in, you know," Remus said, poking his head around the corner as he looked back at Sirius. He waved his hand, gesturing for Sirius to leave the entryway. "Living room's in here."  
  
The tour wasn't very long, as the house wasn't terribly big, but Remus was fairly thorough, stopping to share the pictures and knickknacks and other paraphernalia proudly. Sirius took an extra moment looking at one of the more recent photographs, a nice shot of Remus and Teddy, and a woman Remus said was his ex-wife. Being able to see all three of them at once, Sirius noted to himself that Teddy looked more like Remus than his mother, a fact which made Sirius unaccountably happy. He thought maybe he should feel guilty about that, but that wasn't something he planned to waste time exploring tonight.  
  
"This picture almost made me cry when he brought it home," Remus said, pointing to a framed crayon masterpiece in the dining room. Sirius saw two figures and a house, presumably Teddy with his father at home. "He'd had to draw a picture of his family at school," Remus explained. "His teacher told me later that she was ready to tell Teddy it was okay to draw the three of us all together, even though his parents didn't live together, because we were still a family. But before she could, he'd spoken up and asked for a second piece of paper because he had two families, and he had to do it right."  
  
Sirius smiled a bit, though he wasn't quite sure why that was a moment for Remus to nearly cry. "So that was . . . good?"  
  
Remus nodded. "I think it is, yes. He clearly understands that his family is different than other children's, but it doesn't seem like he sees us as broken, or that he wants to fix us and get us back together. He just . . . he just sees it that we're two families, and he gets us both." Remus's lips were turned up softly. "I asked him about it, and he thinks he's lucky."  
  
This Sirius understood more, and he smiled wider and touched Remus's shoulder. "Sounds like you've done well with him. Both of you," he added, suddenly realising that though her exact role had changed, Remus's ex-wife was still Teddy's family, and needed to be acknowledged. Remus grinned at Sirius brightly, nodding once.  
  
"Well, I think that's about it for the tour then. At least for now." He winked, making it clear what he was getting at.  
  
Sirius chuckled, a little nervous but figuring that was just par for the course. "Of course, for now." He looked over Remus's shoulder into the kitchen. "Have you started dinner yet?"  
  
"Hungry?" Remus asked, turning around. "I have dessert finishing up, actually. I'm going to barbeque the steaks in the garden, so they've just been defrosting. I'm cheating on the potatoes, though."  
  
"Cheating?"  
  
"Oh yes, very much. I'm absolutely pants at making decent potatoes, so I got something from the supermarket." Remus spread his hands. "Surely even a man as marvelous as myself must have his imperfections?"  
  
Sirius laughed. "I suppose that's true. If that's the only imperfect thing about you, I think I'll be able to manage."  _In fact, it almost makes you more perfect_ , Sirius thought, though he was glad he kept that ridiculously soppy thought to himself.  
  
Remus pointed to the sliding door that led out onto the back patio. "Come on, let's sit outside for a while."  
  
There was more wine, and Remus quickly pulled together a small plate of some cheese and biscuits, and as they sipped and nibbled there was pleasant conversation. Sirius asked more about Teddy, loving how Remus's face got so open and pleased when he spoke of his son, and he even offered the exact story of how he'd gotten together with his ex-wife in the first place.  
  
"It was mostly stupid, if you ignore the benefit that came out of it," Remus admitted around a sip of wine. "I'd come out of a bad relationship, we'd known each other for a few years and Dora'd fancied me even though she knew I was gay. I was hurting, and she was sympathetic, and. . . ." He shrugged. "We hooked up a few times before I called it off—I knew I had to stop taking advantage of her, because I didn't really want  _her_ , I just wanted a warm body, and that's not what she wanted. But anyway, those few times were enough. Condom failed, and she found me a few months later to tell me she was pregnant."  
  
Sirius nodded, understanding that sort of situation quite well. While he didn't have any children, there had been a particularly close scare during his university days, complete with a clandestine trip to the chemist where he made James make the actual purchase of the pregnancy test. That had been one of the last times he was with a girl.  
  
"We got married pretty quickly. We were determined to try and make it work, and I deluded myself into thinking I could come to be really attracted to her. I mean, she  _is_  a pretty woman, I can see that." Remus shrugged again. "We knew by the time Teddy was born that it probably wasn't going to work, but I insisted on keeping it going for at least another year."  
  
Sirius shifted a bit. "And that was enough?"  
  
Remus chuckled a bit. "She invited a bloke she'd met at the gym to Teddy's first birthday party. We started the paperwork the next week, and I moved out."  
  
He wasn't able to help himself, asking, "Is she still with that guy?"  
  
"No," Remus said, shaking his head. "He broke her heart, actually. Dick." Remus finished the rest of his wine as punctuation on his statement. "But she's been seeing someone for a while now, nearly a year. They seem happy enough, though I think Dora's a little reluctant to talk about marriage."  
  
"Sure," Sirius said, nodding. His mind conjured a vision of a huge, burly man, who could swing Teddy from his biceps in a way Sirius never could. He hated this man, and was determined to be cold to him when they inevitably had to have dinner as a foursome.  
  
Remus shivered a bit. "Getting chilly out here," he said, sitting forward slightly. "Why don't you go back in, make yourself comfortable, watch the television or something? I'll get the barbeque started up."  
  
Sirius nodded, standing and sliding the door open. "Oh," he said, sniffing a bit, "how long did that dessert have to go?"  
  
Remus's eyes widened. "Shit! Oh, it should be okay, I hope. . . ." He pushed carefully past Sirius and went over to the oven, pulling out a pie. "Oh good, looks fine. I think it's just done." He smiled at Sirius. "Thanks for reminding me!"  
  
Sirius walked over, leaning over the pie to smell it better. "Mmm, no problem. Smells great. I could never get the hang of baking, myself."  
  
Remus set the pie on the counter. "It's all my mother. She was forever baking pies. She sold them at a local bakery sometimes, so she taught me so I could help."  
  
Unable to help himself, Sirius leaned in and kissed Remus's neck.  
  
Remus flattened his hands against the counter and hummed quietly. "See, I knew this would get addicting."  
  
Sirius pulled back and winked. "Well I wouldn't want to feed your addictions. Not a very friendly thing to do."  
  
"So you're going to give it up, too? Keep your hands to yourself?" Remus turned and stepped closer, lifting his chin just slightly.  
  
"Until I'm sure you've got this addiction under control?" Sirius poked Remus's nose. "You bet." He winked and started walking back towards the living room. "Think I'll see what's on the telly tonight!" He settled onto the couch, listening as Remus laughed to himself and started to prepare the steaks to be grilled. Hands to himself or not, he was already starting to miss looking at Remus, miss talking to him, and so it wasn't long before he was ambling back outside, sitting down in one of the chairs again to watch as the other man flipped his meat.  
  
"Have you ever wondered," Remus said, his eyes never leaving the steaks, "if maybe some things are just . . . just meant to happen?"  
  
Sirius tilted his head, not sure what Remus was getting at. "You mean, like with Teddy?"  
  
There was a moment before Remus answered, and Sirius considered trying to take it back when Remus finally said, "Sure, like with Teddy."  
  
Sirius had a sense that Remus hadn't been talking about Teddy, but he went along with it. "I guess I've wondered about that stuff before, yeah. I've never come up with a good answer, though."  
  
Remus licked his lips, then gave a quick glance over to Sirius. "Have you ever  _wanted_  something to be that way? That it was just always meant to happen, so that you know it's . . . right?"  
  
"I think . . ." Sirius sucked in a breath— _am I really going to say this?—_ then plowed ahead, "I think when things are right, whether it's because . . . because of destiny or fate or just good fortune, then you'll know it pretty soon. It'll make sense."  
  
Remus nodded, tending again to the steaks. "I just have to be ready to accept it, right?"  
  
"Right," Sirius agreed quietly. "That's the tricky part. It's a little scary to leave yourself open enough to do it."  
  
Remus put down the tongs, dropped his head for a moment, then turned to Sirius. "I . . ."  
  
Sirius stood quickly, reaching out a hand, though stopping himself just before they touched. "Don't, Remus. I'm here for dinner, and to spend the night if that's what happens. Okay? That's it."  
  
Remus's eyes were wide, a little wild almost as he nodded. "Okay." He bit his lip. "I want to kiss you. Will that be okay with my addiction?"  
  
Sirius laughed and stepped in closer, wrapping his arm around Remus's waist. "Bollocks to your addiction," he murmured, then kissed him soundly. Remus laughed into the kiss, returning it eagerly. They continued kissing until the sound of the steaks sizzling got loud enough for Remus to pull away with a quiet curse.  
  
"I suppose I should finish these," he murmured, turning and picking up the long fork, prodding at the steaks. "If I ruin these, then there's nothing else in the house," he added with a smile.  
  
Sirius chuckled. "Catch you before you went to the supermarket, did I?"  
  
Remus made a small sound of agreement. "I tend to do most of my shopping when Teddy's here, and usually I have plenty left over. He was sick for a while this time, so I didn't buy as much towards the end." He gestured inside. "Do you want to get the potatoes out of the oven? They should be warm still."  
  
"Sure. Put them on the table?" Sirius said as he stepped inside, happy to help and distract himself before he decided to sod the steaks and eat Remus instead.  
  
The steaks were done in short order, and they ate dinner in relative quiet. It was comfortable, the lack of words to offset the clink and scrape of cutlery and dishes. Sirius thought that James would never believe this, never believe that his friend was being  _quiet_ , not speaking. It felt right, though, that they should enjoy the meal and just leave it at that. Once done, Sirius offered to wash up, insisting that Remus take the opportunity to sit and have a drink and stare at Sirius's arse. Remus laughed and agreed, positioning a chair precisely in the kitchen so that he could observe from all angles and direct Sirius to various cupboards and drawers as needed.  
  
When the dishes had been washed and dried and put away, Remus rose and took Sirius's hand, leading him into the living room, drawing him over to sit on the sofa. Sirius followed easily, settling in and gesturing for Remus to tuck against him, wrapping an arm around the other man.  
  
"Thank you for dinner," Sirius said, his voice soft. "And the pie was delicious."  
  
Remus smiled. "You're welcome. I'm glad you liked it."  
  
"I don't cook much, myself. If I want a home cooked meal I barge in on James and Lily and eat them out of house and home." Sirius chuckled, his fingers absently stroking Remus's upper arm.  
  
"I'll have to meet them sometime," Remus said. "Well, properly. As your friends, not as wedding guests."  
  
Sirius felt a bit nervous at the idea, though he wasn't sure if he was more concerned that Remus wouldn't like his friends, or if his friends wouldn't like Remus. "Maybe in a few weeks?" he said. "Have you all over to my place, they can bring Harry, you can bring Teddy?"  
  
"Mmm." Remus nodded. "Sounds like that has potential." He sighed and leaned into Sirius more, his nose nuzzling Sirius's neck. "I'm tired, I don't mind saying. I think I was nervous."  
  
"Nervous?"  
  
"Haven't cooked for anyone in quite a while," Remus said in elaboration. "After cooking for myself for so long, I was a bit worried I'd forget how to do it for someone else."  
  
Something told Sirius that Remus wasn't talking about supper. "I wasn't worried about your cooking. You made it for me, that's special enough."  
  
Remus chuckled. "Not a picky eater?"  
  
Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. I'm picky about the cook, maybe. Not about the meal, though." He felt Remus's lips brushing against his neck and swallowed. "I . . ."  
  
Remus put two fingers over Sirius's lips. "I don't want to talk about cooking anymore," he whispered. Sirius closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. "Would you like to continue the tour of the house?"  
  
All Sirius could do was nod and try to hide the fact that he was actually more worried about his  _own_  "cooking" tonight, but one look at Remus's face as they stood up and started to walk to the stairs was enough to make him grin. At the top of the stairs there was a door to their right, but Remus lead him past it without a word.  
  
"Mm, this isn't a very good tour," Sirius teased, squeezing Remus's hand and gesturing towards the closed door.  
  
"It's the fast version," Remus said, "takes you right to the best parts. And here we are. . . ." He gestured to another door that was propped slightly open.  
  
Sirius stepped close to Remus, leaning into him as he peered inside. "Oh, forgive me for doubting you, Mr Tour Guide. Please, show me the  _best parts_."  
  
Remus turned, his hand casually coming to rest on Sirius's arse, pushing gently. "After you, honored guest. And do make yourself comfortable."  
  
Sirius stepped inside, looking around the tidy bedroom, jumping slightly when he heard the door close again. He turned back and saw Remus watching him, a hint of nerves around his eyes, and Sirius couldn't help but smile and reach his hand out. Remus smiled back, took Sirius's hand and stepped closer, and pressed up against him.  
  
They kissed softly at first, their hands slowly beginning to touch more, and as the intensity grew, they stumbled to the bed, falling with quiet laughter and the slide of clothes against skin, and soon enough it was just them and the sheets, and Sirius learning everything he wanted to know about the best parts of Remus.  
  


* * *

  
He'd left Remus's house around mid-day after their night together, feeling pretty bloody fantastic considering he'd probably only had about three hours of sleep between each go. Remus  _looked_  like a quiet, reserved man, but as he let Sirius into his home and bed he revealed a different side that . . . oh, that Sirius  _really_  liked.  
  
Since then there'd been one more night together, spent at Sirius's that time, and the next morning Remus had said that next weekend Teddy would be brought over for Remus to take for the next two weeks, and suggested that perhaps Sirius should be there to meet him. Sirius had agreed quickly, and the rest of the week had been lost in the haze of nervous anticipation.  
  
When Sirius imagined meeting Remus's son, the encounter inevitably ended with giggles and hands sticky from finger painting and Remus looking at Sirius with a face that combined fond admiration and unquenchable lust. Often such fantasies lead to follow up daydreams of the future when the three of them set up house together and they were the perfect family.  
  
Reality, of course, was never so simple, so rewarding.  
  
It wasn't anyone's fault, how it all happened, but though Sirius knew this and knew that there would be other chances, he still somehow felt he had just blown his one shot at having a family of his own. In despair, he didn't go home afterwards, but rather to his borrowed family, eagerly offering his godfatherly services to the Potters. He didn't realise, though, just how deaf to the rest of the world he'd been over the week.  
  
"Harry's not home," Lily told him, her face looking sympathetic. "He's sleeping over at a friend's tonight. And James is off on a business retreat this weekend."  
  
"Oh." Sirius sighed, looking down at his feet. "I'd forgotten about that." In truth, he'd had no idea that James wouldn't be home.  
  
Lily smiled. "So come in anyway. I'll make some coffee, we can catch up." She put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's been a while since you and I had time to spend together. Just the two of us, I mean, without that annoying bloke with the messy hair getting in the way."  
  
Sirius took a deep breath and managed a smile in return. "It has been. I swear I haven't been avoiding you." He winked at her and stepped inside, taking a deep breath. "Mmm, smells good. Is that dinner? Lemon chicken?"  
  
She chuckled. "Just in case I ever forgot you're a bachelor, Sirius Black, I'm now reminded." She pointed to the floorboards. "I washed the floors. Lemon-scented." She gave him a look. "And just how bad a cook do you think I am, that my food smells like cleaning supplies?"  
  
Sirius peered down, trying to see his face in the shine. "I don't even have a snappy comeback for that," he said, straightening up again. "You said something about coffee?"  
  
They made small talk while the coffee brewed, chatting about Harry's school happenings, James's frustrations at work, Lily's growing itch to get out and work again herself now that Harry was older, and vague plans for the upcoming bonfire night celebration. Sirius let her talk about her family, happy to not talk about himself just yet, though he knew Lily wasn't happy until she was interrogating him.  
  
Sure enough, once they were settled at the table she turned the spotlight on him: "So, now that you've had time to relax, how are things going with Remus?"  
  
Sirius smiled as he sipped at his coffee, taking the last few seconds to put his thoughts together. "With Remus? Things are going really well. He . . ." Sirius sighed, unable to stop his smile from growing. "He's just fantastic. We work really well together, I've never felt anything like it before." He chanced a glance at her, taking in her smug expression. "Oh I suppose you're giving yourself credit for this one, Evans?" he asked, the use of her maiden name a fond reminder of their long friendship.  
  
Lily nodded. "Absolutely! If I hadn't dragged you to that reception, you might never have seen him again!"  
  
"I don't believe that, actually," Sirius said, his voice quiet and a bit bashful. "I . . . I almost feel like . . ."  
  
Lily held up a hand. "Don't finish that sentence. You'll just jinx it if you do."  
  
He chuckled. "I might have screwed it up all on my own, so don't worry about that." She raised her eyebrows but said nothing, waiting for him to continue. "I . . . well, I was supposed to meet his son today."  
  
"You were . . . supposed to? But didn't?"  
  
Sirius took a deep breath. "Remus had me come over this morning, and his ex-wife was bringing Teddy over around noon. She knew I was meeting him today, she was fine with it. But she . . ." Sirius sighed. "She told him in the car on the way over. I don't know  _what_  she told him, exactly, but it upset him. So she turned around and took him home, and then called Remus to tell him she'd bring him home tomorrow when he'd calmed down."  
  
Lily raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure she's okay with you meeting the boy? Because that sounds to me like she created trouble to avoid it."  
  
Sirius nodded, speaking carefully. "Remus said she sounded pretty sorry about the whole thing, and he knows her pretty well, of course. If he trusts her, I have no reason to think otherwise."  
  
"But if you didn't have Remus's word to go on...?"  
  
"I'd probably think she was trying to play some kind of game with Teddy as the game piece, yeah."  
  
Lily didn't say anything for a moment, just looked at Sirius steadily and sipped at her coffee. Finally, she said, "I hope Remus is right. And I'm sure he is. So, are you trying again tomorrow?"  
  
Sirius shook his head. "We both decided it might be best for Teddy to come home to his dad alone, so Remus can try to prepare him better. Or at least figure out what his mother told him." Sirius picked at a bit of skin on his chin, an old nervous habit that came out when he was feeling pessimistic.  
  
"Why did you say  _you'd_  screwed it up, then?" Lily asked. "It sounds like if there's any fault to be placed, it would be on Remus's ex."  
  
Sirius waved his hand. "Oh, because I feel stupid for getting my hopes up at all. For wanting it too soon."  
  
"Well, Remus did have  _some_  say in the timing of this, didn't he?"  
  
Sirius fixed her with a glare. "Why must you continually crush my martyr complex, Evans?"  
  
Lily grinned. "It's what I do, Black. Keep you realistic, keep you from being melodramatic. The pay's pretty good."  
  
Sirius laughed, shaking his head. "Have I ever told you that you're pretty fantastic?"  
  
"Am I then? I think you're a bit of all right yourself. Say, my husband's out of town, want to have that hot affair you've been promising me for fifteen years now?"  
  
Sirius smirked. "Oh now now, Miss Lily, don't offer things you're not willing to see through to the end. It's just not fair to me; you bat those eyelashes at me and I just lose all sense of decency!"  
  
Lily's face was just the slightest bit amused as she proceeded to bat her eyelashes at him.  
  
"Now you've done it!" Sirius shouted, standing up and going over to bury his face in her neck, while his hands tickled her sides, drawing out a squeal of laughter from her, and she started to hit his chest.  
  
"Oh get off me, you horrible man! You wouldn't know what to do with me, anyway, you sodding poof!" She wiggled out of his grip and backed away, pointing a finger at him as he laughed with her. "Just wait until I tell James how you assaulted his wife!"  
  
Sirius stepped over to her, pulling her into a bear hug. "He'll probably congratulate me for finally achieving one of my life goals."  
  
Lily rose up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "You've a life goal to assault me?"  
  
"Oh no, to shag you. You're going to be the last bird I stick it to, you see. I've been ready to just be my fabulous gay self for  _ages_ , Lil, but not having you . . ." He shook his head. "I just feel incomplete."  
  
"Does your Remus know about this plan?"  
  
Sirius nodded his head. "Yes, he's aware. None too happy at first, but he gets the option on being the last man to shag me, so he's willing to indulge me on this."  
  
Lily tilted her head, smiling softly. "You've got it bad for him, don't you?"  
  
Sirius swallowed, hearing again in his head what he'd just said out loud, his stomach twisting oddly. "I really do," he said, his voice a rough whisper, as though saying it louder would ruin it. "God help me, but I do."  
  
Lily nodded. "It'll work out with his boy. You're wonderful with Harry, and I wouldn't have let you be godfather if I didn't know what a good man you are. You can't control the boy's mother, but hopefully Remus has more spine than to let her run his life."  
  
"I think he does. And he's been so careful about timing and everything, I don't think he'd do anything that he didn't think was best for Teddy." Sirius's voice was warm as he spoke, and even he couldn't deny the depth of affection there. "I just want this to work out, Lil."  
  
She stepped over and hugged him, a tight squeeze between friends. "I do, too, for your sake. But you haven't messed it up yet, so that's good, right?"  
  
"Not yet, nope." Sirius kissed the top of her head. "Thanks," he added in a whisper.  
  
"You're welcome," she replied.  
  


* * *

  
Remus called him that night, as was their schedule now, and apologized again for what had happened earlier.  
  
"I called her back," he said, "when I knew Teddy would be having his nap, and I just ripped into her." His voice was a bit sheepish; he wasn't someone who easily lost his temper, but Sirius knew the fuse was shorter when it came to Teddy. "Asked her what the hell she said to him, anyway."  
  
Sirius swallowed. "What did she say to that?"  
  
Remus sighed. " _She_  says she only said Teddy would be meeting Daddy's new friend who wanted to play with Teddy. I can't imagine that something like that would freak him out, though, so I'll have to talk to him tomorrow still."  
  
"Do . . . do you think she'd say something bad about me? Would she want to try to drive me away through him?" He didn't particularly want to know the answer, but he thought he needed to ask the question anyway.  
  
"If you'd asked me that yesterday, I'd say no. But I . . ." The other man sighed again. "I think I'll just see how he's doing tomorrow. Not make any assumptions. Maybe he just misunderstood something. He is only five, after all."  
  
Sirius was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "I'm sorry it didn't work out today, Remus."  
  
"Me too, Sirius." There was a comfortable silence in the line between them; Sirius shifted on the couch, lying back and propping the phone between a cushion and his ear. He slid one hand a bit under the waistband of his jeans, getting comfortable, starting to think about maybe having a wank before bed....  
  
"Well, I'm unexpectedly alone tonight," Remus said, his voice slipping into what Sirius called the Lupin Seduction Baritone. "Have nothing planned at all, wonder what I should  _do_. . . ."  
  
Sirius had opened his flies with a quick twist of his wrist. "I think I'm ahead of you there," he said in return, his hand sliding down into his open jeans.  
  
"So you're naked, too?" Remus asked, and Sirius just laughed.  
  
"Damn, I can't beat the horny bastard!" He lifted his hips and pushed his jeans and pants away, kicking them off his feet and letting one leg fall off the side of the couch for comfort.  
  
There was a soft chuckle over the phone. "Suppose it's not fair when I don't tell you when I start the race."  
  
"Or that you probably started off with fewer clothes in the first place," Sirius agreed.  
  
Remus sighed. "I wish I was there, though. Or you were here, I'm not picky."  
  
Sirius was stroking himself lightly. "Mmm, me too. But this is pretty good, too. Probably a good thing Teddy's not there, now."  
  
"Don't talk about Teddy," Remus scolded. "Talk about how you feel right now."  
  
With a lick of his lips, Sirius began to speak softly, describing how he was getting hard, the way his fingers felt over his skin, listening as Remus's breath began to come faster, sharper, rougher.  
  
He never lasted long when wanking, and having Remus softly moaning in his ear wasn't helping to slow matters at all. "Fucking hell," he murmured, "you do the most amazing, mmm, things to me."  
  
Remus groaned. " _Good_. It's only f-fair."  
  
Sirius expected to say something about the tingling in his balls, but when he opened his mouth all that came out was a groan as he came over his hand and stomach.  
  
At least, that was all that he  _thought_  came out.  
  
When he came out of his orgasmic haze, he expected to hear Remus coming, or the aftermath if he'd missed the actual event, but on the other end there was only silence. "Uh . . . Remus?"  
  
There was a soft clearing of a throat. "You . . . did I...?"  
  
Sirius chuckled a bit. "If you came, I didn't hear it. I suspect you can find out by looking at your hand, though."  
  
"No, you . . ." Remus's next words came out in a rush. "You said you loved me."  
  
Sirius's eyes widened. "I . . . I did?"  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, you did. Well, I thought you did. But it's fine." He sounded flustered now, and Sirius could hear him moving around in bed. "I probably misheard. Or you were, I mean, you were in the, the  _throes_  of passion, right?" Remus chuckled a bit, but Sirius knew he was embarrassed, and while Sirius himself was embarrassed for saying something huge like that for the first time in an orgasm, he knew there was a good way to make this better.  
  
"Remus? I . . . I  _do_  love you."  
  
Again there was a short silence, before Remus said, "Now I  _really_  wish you were here. I have half a mind to throw on a robe and run through the streets of London to come over and kiss you and tell you just how much I love you, too."  
  
Sirius grinned widely. "I have half a mind to do the same. I hope we'd take the same route so we'd meet halfway. We could scandalise passersby with our loosely-tied robes and spent cocks and madly desperate kisses."  
  
"Hold that thought," Remus said. "I can't get arrested tonight."  
  
"Then I'll come over," Sirius said, standing up suddenly, reaching for his jeans, not even caring about the sticky mess that needed cleaning. "I'll leave before anyone shows up tomorrow, but I can't sleep alone tonight, not now."  
  
"I should stop you, you know," Remus murmured, "but I don't think I can sleep alone, either. I'll go unlock the door, and I'll wait for you in bed."  
  
Sirius grinned. "I'll be there as soon as I can." He started to hang up, then grinned wider and said quietly, "I love you."  
  
"I love you, too. Now hang up and  _get over here_."  
  
Laughing, Sirius did just that.  
  


* * *

  
Being in love was a wonderful thing, Sirius thought, but it didn't necessarily make things any easier. If anything, it made the anticipation for the second try at meeting little Teddy Lupin more nerve-wracking, because now Sirius felt like he had something really invested in the meeting going well, and that if it didn't, it would be that much more disappointing.  
  
Luckily, his worries were all for naught.  
  
Teddy was shy at first, but Remus had already told Sirius to expect that. His behavior the other day seemed to be simply a fear of meeting someone new, which was dealt with easily enough when Teddy had a few days to get used to the idea and have his dad tell him stories about Sirius and how much fun he would be. Sirius won the lad over by asking to see his collection of toys, and by the time it was bedtime Teddy was asking Sirius to read him his story and tuck him in. Remus left them to it, taking the time to open some wine to breathe and clean up the mess from the day, so that by the time Sirius came down the stairs—his smile as wide as it had ever been—Remus was waiting for him on the couch.  
  
"You have," Sirius said, leaning in to kiss Remus before he settled down next to him, "a most excellent son."  
  
Remus grinned. "I do, don't I?" He handed Sirius a glass of wine, then held his own up for a quick clink before they both sipped, smiling at each other over the rims. "He likes you a lot, too."  
  
Sirius chuckled. "He does, doesn't he? I'm so glad I was able to win him over."  
  
"I think it was the blocks. He's mad for them, and I'm always so dull and just building towers. That was a very impressive castle there."  
  
"James and I would build  _insane_  block castles for Harry when he was younger. Lily hated it because it'd be impossible to walk through the house without killing yourself on a fallen wall where the Scots had invaded."  
  
Remus laughed, tugging Sirius closer. "I told you not to worry." Sirius shifted, resting his head on Remus's shoulder. "He takes after his father in many ways, and I knew one of them would be being terribly fond of you." Remus kissed Sirius's head softly, his nose nuzzling Sirius's hair.  
  
"Mmm. You will definitely have to bring him around my place sometime, do a dinner with James's family." He looked up at Remus. "They're dead curious about you."  
  
"Me? Psh, I'm no one special. You must have been telling them wild lies."  
  
Sirius turned more, brushing his lips against the base of Remus's neck. "I only told them that you drive me mad. Since they thought I was already quite mad, they're interested in how you've accomplished the impossible."  
  
After a few minutes of attention to his neck, Remus whispered, "One thing, though, is that he's a bit of a light sleeper, at least at first. Tends to get out of bed at least once in the first hour."  
  
Sirius froze, wondering if Teddy was watching them. Oh  _god_ , that would be horrifying....  
  
Remus chuckled. "He's not up yet. I just wanted to let you know, before you thought about taking this any further yet."  
  
With a nod, Sirius sat back a little, taking a sip of his wine. "Then I shall try to restrain myself. You should try not to look so tempting, though."  
  
"I look tempting?"  
  
Sirius reached up to trace Remus's jawline. "You do. It's very hard fighting the urge to taste every inch of your jaw."  
  
Remus moved his head, nipping at Sirius's finger. "Your sacrifice is quite touching. I may have to reward you when the coast is clear."  
  
Knowing full well that with his luck that this was the moment Teddy would likely make an appearance, Sirius leaned up and kissed Remus softly, really unable to help himself, needing the light touch of lips against his own. He felt Remus kiss back, gentle pressure on his mouth, and after a few moments he pulled away, smiling.  
  
"Love you," Remus murmured, running his fingers along Sirius's cheek. Sirius smiled brightly hearing those still-new words again. "Thank you for being so good about my son."  
  
"Thanks for letting me get to know him," Sirius said in response.  
  
They sat quietly for a while, looking out through the front windows to the street, watching people pass. After a while, there was a soft sound of footsteps behind them, and they both turned to see Teddy standing at the outcropping of wall between the living room and the stairs, peering around as though he was trying to spy.  
  
Remus smiled and moved to stand; Sirius shifted to let him up, knowing this time Remus had to be an authority figure and put Teddy back to bed. "Did you wake up, Teddy Eddie?" The boy shook his head. Sirius thought he looked sleepy, and he wondered what it was that kept the child awake, what brought him downstairs one more time.  
  
"Let's get back to bed, then," Remus said, scooping him up. Immediately Teddy curled himself around his father, though Sirius thought he saw little fingers waving at him as he was taken back upstairs.  
  
Sirius sighed, drank some more of his wine, and stretched out on the couch, smiling as he thought that being in love was fantastic.  
  


* * *

  
Schedules and Teddy's next stay with his mother had pushed out Sirius's plan to introduce his friends to his boyfriend further than he'd liked, but despite the longer wait, Remus was still a fair bundle of nervous energy as they waited for the Potters to descend upon Sirius's house. Remus came over earlier with Teddy, letting the boy get comfortable in the new surroundings, playing a bit in the small back garden with his coat hanging half-off and Remus quickly giving up trying to get him to keep it on. Inside, watching from the door into the kitchen, Sirius hugged Remus from behind as they watched Teddy play.  
  
"You should relax, Remus. It's going to be fine."  
  
"I don't think I'll be able to win them over as easily as you did Teddy."  
  
Sirius chuckled. "No worries. Lily's not impressed by blocks, and James will think whatever she tells him to think."  
  
Remus groaned and pulled away, though he looked more amused than anything else. "I just . . . I can still remember meeting some of Dora's friends for the first time, and that was  _awful_." He took Sirius's hand, continuing, "I mean, of course it was, because they knew I'd knocked her up and that I was gay and that I generally had really screwed up big time with their friend, so they hated me from the start. And I  _know_  your friends don't feel the same because I haven't knocked you up—" Sirius let out an embarrassing snort of a laugh at the mere idea "—and you're the proper gender and . . ." Remus smiled now, his grip on Sirius's hand relaxing a bit. "And we're sort of fantastic together and this isn't just a convenient shag arrangement, is it?"  
  
Shaking his head, Sirius lifted his other hand to push some hair back away from Remus's brow. "Not just a convenient shag arrangement. Or possibly the  _most_  convenient shag arrangement, in that we're a little mad for each other and both willing to give this a real go at the long haul." He cupped Remus's head and pulled him in for a soft kiss....  
  
Which was, of course, the exact moment that James barged his way in, saw them having a sweet moment, and fully ruined it by letting out an exceptionally loud whistle from just a few meters away.  
  
"Dad!" Harry complained, coming into the kitchen with his hands over his ears. "Mum hates it when you do that inside." He ignored the others and ran outside to say hi to Teddy.  
  
Remus was blushing, and Sirius could see that the whistle had stopped Teddy in his tracks as he'd been running in a circle around his jacket, though Teddy's attention was quickly taken by Harry's arrival. Sirius turned slowly and gave James a nice two-finger salute, before turning back and kissing Remus again, deeper this time to prove his point: his house, his boyfriend, he'd snog all he wanted.  
  
"Well he hasn't run off yet, James," Lily said, putting a bag filled with dinner items on the counter. "That's certainly a lot of points to him right there." Everyone laughed, and Sirius had to pull away, kissing Remus once more on the cheek before tugging him closer to make formal introductions.  
  
Three hours later, Teddy and Harry were upstairs watching videos, and the adults were chatting, waiting out the light wine buzzes before James had to drive his family home and Lily had to be a mother again. For the most part the interrogations had been predictable and at least attempting subtlety; it was agreed early on that Remus's once poor decision to be with a woman was off-limits, given how much everyone adored Teddy, but everything else in Remus's life was fair game, and James made sure to use the entire pitch.  
  
"Oi, what about tattoos, then?" he asked, pointing in Remus's general direction. "You don't seem the sort, yet I've known others who didn't seem the sort who ended up being  _very_  the sort. And I'm not sure our Sirius is the sort to be with the sort."  
  
Sirius stared at his best friend, wondering when he'd been replaced by a brain-damaged twat. Remus, however, took it all in stride. "Nearly got one, once, actually. Was at the parlour and all, after Teddy was born. Needed to do  _something_ to celebrate properly. Seemed the thing to do, for some reason."  
  
James's eyes were wide. "You said nearly, though. So you're not the sort?"  
  
"Nearly. I was going to do it, I'd thought about the design, and when I explained to the artist what I wanted and why, she . . ." He shrugged. "She asked me why I was there and not with my wife and baby." He chuckled. "Told her she had a point, and I legged it back to Dora's room. I always thought I'd do it later, but after the high of the moment wore off, I just . . . didn't."  
  
Lily winked. "Well there's always time for that. Maybe wait a bit longer, then you could also get one of those wonderful biker tattoos, the big heart with 'SIRIUS' written in fancy gothic script."  
  
"Yes!" James agreed, nearly falling from the couch in his enthusiasm. "Maybe have his named  _pinned_  to the heart! So it could  _bleed_!"  
  
Sirius held up his hands. "Oi oi! That's enough now, you daft bastards!" He looked accusingly at Lily. "You! You're supposed to be the normal one, just cooing about what a bloody great father Remus is and what a nice, calming influence he could be in my life!"  
  
As Lily laughed and made absolutely no effort to defend herself, Sirius noticed James leaning over to speak to Remus quietly, and while Sirius couldn't imagine it being a bad thing at all, he still felt a bit nervous not knowing what was being said.  
  
Conversation moved on to other things—Lily and Remus chatted for a while about Bertha and Peter, and how the newlyweds were faring these days—until finally Harry and Teddy trudged back downstairs, with sleepy eyes and weighted limbs. The Potters began to pack their things, Sirius promising to wash up Lily's dishes for her tomorrow and return them in a timely manner, while Remus convinced Teddy that he'd get to see Harry again and that no, Teddy could not go over to Harry's house tonight, because they were staying here with Sirius instead.  
  
It was nearing ten when finally everything was gathered and everyone was at the door saying their goodbyes. Lily had kisses for everyone and fond words for Remus; James hugged Sirius close, and whispered in his ear: "Don't let him go, mate." Sirius just nodded, having no plans to do something so stupid in the near or even intermediate future.  
  
At last Sirius was alone with Remus and Teddy, upstairs in the spare room that was usually Harry's, trying to get Teddy acclimated to the new sleeping situation for the evening. Remus made sure Teddy knew exactly where his father would be if needed in the night, and Sirius reassured the boy when asked that the wardrobe had been checked thoroughly for monsters, and that he'd be quite safe in here. After the last tuck-in and goodnight kisses, Sirius and Remus retired to Sirius's bedroom, collapsing in their clothes on top of the bedspread, curling around each other in well-earned exhaustion.  
  
"I like your friends," Remus murmured, his hands tracing over Sirius's body lightly, with no particular intent. "They're good people."  
  
"Mm," Sirius agreed, "they are that. James basically saved my life when we were kids. He's stuck with me now."  
  
"He likes me. Told me I shouldn't let you let me go."  
  
Sirius smiled, kissed Remus softly. "I won't, then. I'd be afraid to disobey him."  
  
They laughed quietly, finally stripping out of their clothes and burrowing under the covers, each keeping an ear open for light footsteps in the hall as they slid into sleep at last.  
  


* * *

  
The first real obstacle came at Christmas. Traditionally, Remus had told Sirius, he'd had a dinner on Christmas Eve with Dora and Teddy, then Teddy went back with his mum to have Christmas morning with her extended family. Last year Dora's boyfriend had come along, and he was expected to come as well this year, too, and Remus fully intended to have Sirius there as well.  
  
"I mean," he said, picking at his chips, "if you  _want_  to come, of course." He bit his lip and looked up at Sirius across the table. "If you don't, it's fine, really. . . ."  
  
Sirius reached out and stole one of Remus's chips. "Don't be daft, just tell me what time, what dress code, and if I should bring anything." He grinned, and then grinned wider when he realised the waitress cleaning the table behind Remus was looking at Sirius, making her blush. "I usually make my way over to James's at some point, but I really don't think they'll be upset if I spend time with your family, too."  
  
Remus smiled back and nodded, looking a little relieved. "Well, good. I'm glad." He sipped at his soda, making a loud slurping noise when he emptied it. "Only I don't think it'll be as simple as all that."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
Remus played with his straw for a moment, making odd noises as it moved in and out of the plastic lid, then sighed. "She wants to have it at her place this year. Have the rest of her family over, too." Remus looked up at Sirius. "I think she wants to get their approval on Dav, which means a nice, formal dinner."  
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Have they not met him yet? Haven't they been going out for a long time?"  
  
Remus nodded. "Yes, but her family's a bit . . . traditional. Sort of set in their ways." He snickered. "I broke all their rules, and they weren't too disappointed to get rid of me in the end." Sirius tutted. "I never needed their approval anyway. But Dora actually is pretty serious about Dav, and because we cocked things up the first time, I'm sure she's very eager to do things the right way."  
  
Sirius stole another chip. "Do you think they're going to get married?"  
  
"Probably. Don't know if she realizes it yet, though," said Remus. "Not that we talk about it."  
  
"So, what's the problem, again? Would she not invite you over with her family?"  
  
"No, she would, but she might try to convince me to come alone." Remus put his drink down and sat back, crossing his arms over his chest. "Like I said, her family's  _traditional_."  
  
Sirius nodded, understanding the issue. "So she doesn't want them to know about you? Us?"  
  
Remus shook his head. "They know I'm gay. And the way they gossip, I'm sure they know I'm seeing someone, if they don't have all sorts of terrible information on you specifically."  
  
"Oh you know me and my sketchy background," Sirius said, grinning. "Terrible influence on you, I'm sure."  
  
"Mm, the worst," Remus agreed. "But them knowing is one thing. They wouldn't like to see it."  
  
"So I shouldn't push aside the salad course and shag you on the dinner table?"  
  
"Not theirs, no, but I think tonight we'll have salad for dinner."  
  
Sirius chuckled. "Look, Remus, I understand about families that don't understand. If I still spoke to mine, they'd have the same issues with me bringing you home to Christmas dinner, I'm sure. Don't feel like you have to try to force it with people who aren't really  _your_  family just to make me feel good."  
  
Remus raised an eyebrow. "No offense, love, but that really wasn't my concern anyway." Sirius had the good grace to look sheepish as Remus continued. "I don't want my son to think I'm ashamed. Of myself, of  _you_ , of any part of it. And if I let them dictate who his mother can invite over for the family dinner—for  _his_  family dinner—then I think I'd fail at my job as a parent." He sat forward, resting his arms on the table, sighing a bit at his dilemma.  
  
Nodding, Sirius reached over and took Remus's hand. "Ignoring the ridiculous idea of you failing at being a father, I do understand what you're saying. And I agree, too, for whatever that's worth."  
  
"It's worth quite a bit," Remus said.  
  
Sirius smiled, feeling rather warm at that. "So, like I said before, just tell me when and where, and if I should bring something. I will be on my best behavior, or my most mischievous, if you'd rather."  
  
Remus smiled as well, a bit of grateful relief evident in the curve of his lips. "Let's start with best, and we'll adjust as the night goes on."  
  
With a squeeze of his hand, Sirius agreed, and then caught a look at the time on his watch. "Shit. I have to get back to work." He didn't move, always reluctant to part after their lunch dates. "You going to be writing at my place today?"  
  
A couple weeks back Remus had lost power at his house, and in a deadline-stricken panic showed up at Sirius's office to ask for his key so he could go write at Sirius's instead. Sirius had, of course, agreed immediately, and when he arrived home that night to find a terribly grateful Remus in his bed wearing only his key, it was determined that not only should a copy of Sirius's key be made for Remus's use whenever necessary, but also that Sirius's spare room was an excellent place for Remus to write on a deadline. Being a place he still considered not his own, his tendency for distraction was neutralized quite neatly, and he had a sense of duty to Sirius to get his work done so that he could prepare himself and the house for a night of many thanks.  
  
Remus nodded now, patting his coat pocket. "I've your key, and that's the plan. Want anything special for dinner?"  
  
Sirius grinned as he stood up. "I thought there was salad planned?"  
  
"If there's salad on the table when you get home, we won't be eating." Sirius smirked, and Remus quickly clarified, "Eating  _dinner_."  
  
Laughing, Sirius leaned down and kissed Remus quickly, with the briefest slip of his tongue. "Whatever you want to make. Or I can bring something home if you'd like."  
  
"Mm, we'll see how it goes today. If I'm on a roll maybe I'll call you and take you up on that."  
  
"Sounds good. Don't lose yourself in it, though."  
  
Remus was already starting to clean up their mess, nodding distractedly.  
  
Sirius smiled softly, then leaned back over to kiss Remus's head. "Call me if you need me, okay?" Remus nodded again, and Sirius knew he was already in his Writer's Mind. Sirius turned away with a small sigh and headed off to a long afternoon at work, where he would try very hard not to think of the man waiting for him at home.  
  


* * *

  
"Big night tonight, then?"  
  
Sirius nodded, staring at the Christmas tree. He expected James was worried about him—worried  _for_  him—though it wasn't strictly necessary.  
  
"You nervous? Worried?"  
  
Sirius flicked his eyes to the side, looking at his friend out of the corners of his eyes. "Should I be?" he asked, genuinely curious about what James would say.  
  
"Oh, I don't know. I was a wreck when I had to meet Lily's family, you know that. But this isn't the same as that."  
  
"It's not, no. I am a bit . . . tense, I think," Sirius confessed, sitting back in the sofa, "but not for myself. I don't care so much about what the lot of them think, but I do worry a bit about what Dora and Dav think. And I'm nervous for Remus."  
  
"How's Remus?"  
  
"He's faking confidence nicely," Sirius said with a sigh. Out the front window he could see Harry and some of the neighborhood boys playing in the light snow that was falling. It barely covered anything, not sticking well at all, but children took any excuse to enjoy it. "He just wants to keep things calm for Teddy. Doesn't want Teddy to make bad associations."  
  
James nodded, his eyes closed as he stretched out. His legs nearly reached the decorative train set Harry had abandoned setting up. "I'm sure it'll be fine," he said around a yawn. "What time do you have to leave?"  
  
Sirius checked his watch, frowning. "Probably soon, actually. I need to stop at my place, then I'm going over to Remus's, help him get Teddy over there."  
  
"And you're staying with him tomorrow, yeah?"  
  
Sirius turned to look at James, smiling a bit, then his face dropped. "Is Harry disappointed?"  
  
James shrugged. "Probably a bit, but he'll get over it. You came today, and you're over on Boxing Day, right?" Sirius nodded quickly. "There you are, then. He'll be fine."  
  
"Good." Sirius hesitated a moment, then quietly said, "It's hard, juggling three families."  
  
"Three?" James frowned, pushing his glasses up his nose a bit.  
  
"You lot, Remus, and his ex. I wish we could have Teddy for Christmas, but he's got to be with his mum and her family. And I want to be with you here, but I don't want to leave Remus alone, not when this year he can have company."  
  
James sat up and put his hand on Sirius's shoulder. "Mate. We've all been there. When Harry was little and we were still trying to shuffle between my parents and Lily's? And working to spend a little time with her sister while trying to avoid her husband?" James shuddered. "And that one horrible year with  _his_  sister, when Harry got chased around by her sodding dog?"  
  
Sirius nodded. "So it's normal, this feeling that you're always going to let someone down?"  
  
James grinned widely. "That's what family  _is_ , Black. Family are the people who know you're going to disappoint them most of the time, but still keep their hopes up enough so they can  _be_  disappointed."  
  
Sirius thought about this for a moment, letting it turn in his mind, remembering back to that first time he decided his family wasn't his family anymore, and realising that James was right, that it happened when his father hadn't been disappointed when Sirius didn't show up for something.  
  
"Thanks," he said, bringing a hand up to pat James's, smiling at his friend. "I hope to disappoint you for many years to come."  
  
With a laugh James leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I'm going to let you in on a secret, Uncle Sirius. You have to  _swear_  not to tell  _anyone_  that you know." Sirius nodded in agreement. "Lily's up the duff!" James said, his whisper getting a bit louder as he grinned in excitement.  
  
Sirius grinned as well. "Well done, then!"  
  
James tapped his nose. "She's only six weeks gone, so I'm not allowed to tell anyone yet. So don't tell her you know!"  
  
"Oh, I knew you'd tell him," came an amused female voice from somewhere behind them. James yelped and sat up, twisting around to stare at his wife, his mouth working like a fish's. "Sirius isn't just  _anyone_ , is he?" She grinned at Sirius, who was smiling at her. "So he can know. But please don't let Harry know, yet," she added, her voice serious.  
  
"Understood, Mother Potter," said Sirius with a cheeky grin and quick salute, and then he stood, smoothing his clothes. "I should be off now, anyway. Have to make myself gorgeous, you understand."  
  
"But Sirius, I thought you were going out  _tonight_."  
  
Sirius flipped James off as he kissed Lily's cheek. "Congratulations, and I'll keep it quiet, I promise." He backed out of the room, saying, "And I'll see you both on Boxing Day!"  
  
He hurried outside to the sound of their farewells, making sure to stop and say goodbye to Harry, before he set out down the road, whistling to himself.  
  
By the time he got home he was eager to see Remus and Teddy, and almost decided to just pack up his stuff and take it over to Remus's to change there, but he changed his mind when he considered that Remus would have enough going on trying to get himself and Teddy ready, and they didn't need someone else needing the bathroom to make himself look nice. So he swallowed back his nervous excitement and got himself washed up and dressed, then checked over his bags thoroughly, making sure he had everything he'd need for that evening, the night after, and tomorrow. The most important items included a present for Remus, a couple presents for Teddy, and small gift for Dora and Dav for letting Remus invite him and not complaining.  
  
Finally he let himself check the time, and with relief he found that it was only twenty minutes before he'd planned to leave, and he figured that was close enough. He headed for the nearest bus stop, planning to grab one of the empty taxis that often swung by there on days of high traffic in the hopes of catching desperate fares from people who had missed a bus, or who just decided they didn't want to deal with the masses on board.  
  
He hailed one quickly enough, settling in for the trip across town.  
  
Sirius watched people walking around: families with children high on Christmas cheer tugging the parents along; couples strolling in the light snowfall with no timetable but their own; people on their own, either rushing somewhere to meet up with others, or taking their time and uneager to spend the night alone. Sirius looked over to the paper bag filled with expertly Lily-wrapped gifts, and he smiled, glad that tonight no one he loved would be alone, even if he couldn't be with everyone at once.  
  
September seemed so long ago, now. Those first days of surprising meetings and re-meetings, the nervous wondering if he was mad for feeling connected to this man he'd only met on accident a couple times. Three months was all it was, though, and Sirius still had a sense that maybe he was putting too much on all this, making it seem bigger than it ought to be. At the same time, though, this was fast becoming the longest relationship in his life. He'd gone out with a girl back in school, before uni, and it technically spread over a summer, though they'd spent little time together and had really just been a convenient arrangement to have someone to snog on breaks between classes.  
  
Not in question at all was the fact that this relationship was far and away the most meaningful. For years, when James was chasing after Lily and when he'd finally worn her down, Sirius would inwardly scoff at James's insistence that there was any way to really  _know_  that he was meant for this one person. When he finally asked James about it, James could only say that one day, Sirius would understand. Hesitant as he was to say it aloud and risk breaking the spell that he felt caught up in, Sirius did understand now. His only wish was that time would move faster, so that he could feel more confident in feeling like he had earned the right to say that Remus Lupin was the love of his life.  
  
Before he quite realised it, the taxi had pulled up outside Remus's house, and with a healthy tip to the driver, Sirius got his things together and headed up, ready to spend Christmas with the newest people he considered family.  
  


* * *

  
Dora's house was surprisingly large; he didn't think a police salary was quite so grand. Remus explained when he saw Sirius's surprised face that her family knew how to have its money work for them, and Dora had inherited both that same knowledge, as well as a nice bit of money from various deceased relatives. It had been, Remus said, an important bit of information during their divorce proceedings, as it had allowed Remus's lawyer to convince everyone that Remus shouldn't be responsible for any child support payments. Remus didn't mind the idea of supporting his son, but not having those monthly payments was a huge relief when paying jobs were slow for a few months.  
  
Teddy ran up the short path around the side of the house to the garden entrance, calling for his mum, leaving his father exasperated and holding a bag of presents as he shook his head.  
  
"Here," Sirius said with a chuckle, shifting the things he was holding to take a bag from Remus. "Go make sure he doesn't slip and fall, I'll follow you in."  
  
Remus smiled, holding onto his bags tightly. "He's fine, they keep that path pretty well cleared, especially for tonight with all the old relatives coming through." He followed Teddy. "No one really uses the front door much, anyway." He pushed the gate open further to allow their adult bodies through, nodding his head to indicate that Sirius should go first. "Don't want to leave you alone, give you a chance to run off," he said, winking.  
  
"Not going to run off, don't worry," Sirius said, smiling though his voice was firm, as though trying to remind himself of that fact more than Remus. "Plus," he added, voice low, "you know I'm just waiting for them to do or say something ridiculous so I can be obnoxious."  
  
"As long as it happens after Teddy goes to bed, then I'm looking forward to that." Remus knocked their hips together. "Go on, might as well face it all head-on, yeah? Only Teddy's inside and they're probably wondering where we are." Side by side, they walked the rest of the path up to the door, which was standing open, a child's coat left carelessly on the floor a step inside. Remus calmly stepped over it, and Sirius followed right after, finding himself in a mud room which was seemingly doubling as a coatroom this evening.  
  
There was the sound of heels on hardwood floor approaching, and a voice called out, "Remus, that you?"  
  
Remus, who had put down his bags and was reaching to pick up Teddy's coat and close the outside door, called back, "It's us, yeah. One mo', Dora, bit cramped in here. . . ."  
  
Sirius smiled; it was fairly cramped in the small room, and Remus was now standing right against up him. Though Sirius suspected that was by design, and not the fault of the room.  
  
"Thank you for coming tonight," Remus whispered, kissing Sirius softly. "I wanted to say that now, before you can regret it."  
  
Sirius shook his head, giving Remus a quick squeeze. "I'm just glad to be invited. Glad I can be here for you." While Remus had never said anything about his concerns, Sirius suspected that Remus wanted Sirius around just so he could be assured a friendly face, and not just to make a point to his ex-wife and her family.  
  
Remus nodded once, took a deep breath, then stepped away from Sirius, opening the other door in the room to reveal a small woman with Teddy on her hip. Even if Sirius had never seen pictures of the woman, he'd know this was Dora from Teddy's possessive grip on her neck, and the way their chins were both just a bit pointy.  
  
"Hi Dora," Remus said, leaning in to kiss her cheek quickly. "See someone found you quick enough."  
  
"He always does," she replied, kissing Remus back. "How are the roads?"  
  
"Oh, not too bad. Just a bit wet, is all." They'd driven over in Remus's old, clunky car, a used thing he'd bought for a song when he and Dora had split up so he didn't have to always rely on the tube and buses and taxis when he was out with Teddy.  
  
Dora was peering over Remus's shoulder, clearly eyeing Sirius and waiting to be introduced. Sirius's instincts made him want to take care of the introductions himself, but he sat back, letting Remus take care of things.  
  
"So Dora, this is Sirius," Remus said, looking between them. "Sirius, this is Teddy's mum, Dora."  
  
Sirius smiled and reached out to shake her hand, nodding politely. "Nice to meet you, Dora."  
  
Dora shifted Teddy on her hip to shake Sirius's hand, giving him a quick smile. "Same. I've heard a lot about you," she said, though Sirius got the impression that she considered it too much, and possibly from a disappointing source. He knew that Remus and Dora tended to keep their chats on the topic of their son, rather than their romantic lives, but perhaps Teddy felt he could speak more freely.  
  
"About you as well," Sirius agreed, smiling widely, hoping to put her at ease, show her that she wasn't the evil ex in his and Remus's conversations. Remus had introduced her accurately for them: she was Teddy's mum, first and foremost.  
  
She stepped aside, gesturing for them to follow her. "Well come in, most everyone else is here. Dav's in the kitchen tending to a couple things, but I should get back in there before he ruins dinner." Her lips quirked, a fond inside joke, something to reassure herself that she was in charge here, that Remus was the one who'd brought the outsider.  
  
They walked inside, and Remus took a shy Teddy from his mother as she headed towards the kitchen. Sirius walked behind his Lupins, making faces at Teddy to try and get him to smile and open up, but the noise from the front room was growing louder, and Teddy was hugging his father harder.  
  
"Ted, pal, I've got to put you down," Remus murmured. "Can you be a big boy and come say hi to your aunties and uncles? Gran's in here, too, and Grandad's probably got a sweetie for you." The idea of a sweet made dealing with unfamiliar people worthwhile, apparently, and Teddy let go and allowed Remus to put him down. Leading the boy by the hand, Remus brought Teddy into the room, having him greet his family. Sirius hid back a bit in the shadows of the corridor, letting everyone coo over the child as they tried to bring a smile to his face.  
  
Someone stepped next to him, and Sirius turned and looked down to see Dora at his side, watching her son and ex-husband work the room. "You're not going to hurt them, are you?"  
  
Sirius blinked, surprised by her blunt question. "I certainly have no intent to do so," he answered after a moment. "And in fact I plan to actively avoid that from happening."  
  
She didn't react for a moment, then nodded. "Good. He deserves someone who's right for him."  
  
With a raised eyebrow, Sirius asked, "Are you, uh, giving your blessing or something?" He didn't know what bothered him more, the fact that she saw fit to give it moments after meeting him, or the fact that she felt it was her place to give it at all.  
  
"No, I was just saying. That's what he deserves. If that's you, then I wish you the best." Without waiting for Sirius to reply, she walked into the room, slipping into to the role of hostess with relative ease.  
  
Teddy was occupied with a man playing at slight of hand with a sweet—presumably his grandfather—and Remus wandered back over to Sirius, smiling a bit. "You going to lurk in the shadows all night?"  
  
"Boo," Sirius said, grinning. "I'm what goes bump in the night."  
  
Remus chuckled and took Sirius's hand, squeezing it. "Come on, there's a nice bench next to one of Dora's less fussy cousins, you can sit there and I'll sit on the ground and you can be all possessive over me." He winked a bit, but Sirius could tell Remus was nervous. He liked to feel owned when he got nervous.  
  
So Sirius nodded. "Of course." He leaned his head and whispered very softly in Remus's ear, "I love you very much. That's not going to change because of  _any_ one here, I promise." He felt Remus nod, then gave Remus a soft shove, letting Remus take control of the great reveal.  
  
As Remus led him across the room, Sirius could feel the waves of halting conversation, the increase in whispers and stares, but he simply gave a distracted smile, following a step behind Remus, their fingers still entwined. Indeed, there was a small bench placed in the far corner, next to a boy who looked about Harry's age, and who seemed entirely bored to tears at all this family nonsense. He didn't spare them a second look as Sirius sat and Remus took a spot up between Sirius's legs.  
  
When Sirius looked up, he saw a number of heads quickly turning away, but he didn't let himself react to that, keeping a small smile on his face, hoping to look calm and at ease in the room. Past instances of not being happily accepted had taught him that if he just looked like he belonged, people would be less likely to show him that he didn't. It didn't always work, but the guests here didn't look like the type to start fistfights over the family supper.  
  
Chatter began to rise in volume again, and Sirius could feel Remus relax against him. He put one hand on Remus's shoulder and squeezed, reassuring him. After a few minutes, the blonde boy sitting next to them stood up and wandered away, and the seat was quickly re-occupied by the man who'd been playing with Teddy and the sweet earlier.  
  
"Hallo, Remus," he said, pulling the chair around a bit so he could face them both properly.  
  
"Hi Ted," Remus replied, shifting a bit and looking up at Sirius. "Sirius, this is Dora's father, Ted."  
  
Sirius smiled. "Nice to meet you, Ted."  
  
Ted nodded his head. "You as well, Sirius." Ted looked back at Remus. "How are you doing these days, lad? Dora doesn't call as often as I like her to, you know."  
  
Remus chatted with Ted for a bit, talking about a few things he'd written, some stories about Teddy, all very normal small talk. Sirius got the impression that Ted liked Remus very much, and was glad that Remus's divorce hadn't soured that friendship. Eventually Ted headed off to chat with others, and Remus pushed himself up to take the seat that was now open, putting it back next to Sirius.  
  
"Ted's a good man. He used to  _hate_  me, upset that I'd started something with Dora knowing how she felt, knowing that I would never make it anything long term. But when I didn't run away when she told me she was pregnant, I earned his respect, I guess."  
  
Sirius nodded. "As you should have. Not every man would do that, even if he was straight."  
  
Remus shrugged. "I think he wishes we were still together, that his daughter could have . . . changed my mind enough. But he's always been understanding about us splitting up. He's was good to talk to when we couldn't agree on what to do about something, because he always was looking out for Teddy."  
  
"I did get that impression," Sirius said, with a soft chuckle. "That he wanted you back with Dora."  
  
Remus's lips quirked. "Did you?" It was genuinely curious, not sarcastic, and Sirius nodded.  
  
"He ignored me, didn't acknowledge our relationship at all. I mean, I'm not expecting anyone here to be so very interested in when we started dating or who tops or whatever—" Remus snickered, shaking his head, "—but you might as well have been sitting here alone."  
  
Remus touched Sirius's thigh, stroking it just lightly. "I did say, many of them don't approve. But they're nice and uppercrust, so they'll ignore a problem rather than have to come across as openly disapproving." He gestured to a trio of women chatting near the fireplace. "Dora's mother and aunts? They try so very hard to be nice to me. Her mum's alright about it, she does like me on some level. The other two, though? I guarantee at one point tonight they will ask if I've met a woman I can start my own family with yet."  
  
Sirius's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "Your  _own_  family? As though Teddy's not  _your_  son?"  
  
"Precisely. They want me to stop hanging around, and they think the way to get that to happen is for me to have kids with some other woman. They're ridiculous and terrible, and Dora's always horrified when I tell her they did it again, but they'll never stop. Not until I do what they think is the right thing for me to do."  
  
Sirius felt his lip curl slightly. "Oh I hope they ask when I'm around tonight."  
  
Remus snickered. "What would you do if they did?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know. Something about how my biological clock  _is_  ticking, but . . ."  
  
Remus squeezed Sirius's leg. "You don't have to defend me to these people, Sirius."  
  
Sirius tilted his head, looking at Remus curiously. "Don't I, though? I mean, not just here, but anywhere?"  
  
Remus looked back at Sirius, blinking slowly, then he shook his head. "You don't. Not like that, anyway. And not for my sake. All I ever need from you in a situation like that is to stand at my side and don't back down from a disapproving stare."  
  
Sirius smiled a bit, knowing that he'd certainly never disappoint on that level, and he opened his mouth to say that he'd try to keep himself in check, but was interrupted when Dora clapped her hands for attention.  
  
"Just wanted to let you all know that dinner will start soon, if you want to start heading into the dining room? It's a bit of a tight fit around the table, but there's room for everyone. We thought we'd help by putting down place cards, too, so there shouldn't be any fights over seats," she said with a smile, though Sirius saw her eyes flick over to him, and he wondered just what she might expect from him in reaction to her seating arrangements.  
  
It turned out that Dav and Ted were at the head and foot of the table, which Sirius took as part of Dora's desire to get her family to approve of Dav in a head-of-the-house fashion by equating him with her father. Dora herself was seated to Dav's right, and to Dav's left was Teddy. Remus was to the left of his son, and Sirius one seat over more. He tried to catch Dora's eye to give her a nod of thanks—she could have seated him across from Remus, and that could have been needlessly uncomfortable.  
  
Then he realised who was seated to his own left, and he wondered if she was testing him.  
  
He smiled at the older woman, as at the same time he felt Remus tense next to him. He assumed Remus had just realised that Sirius had been seated next to one of the women Remus had pointed out, one of Dora's aunts. Determined to go into this with an optimistic outlook, he gave her a polite nod, then gestured towards her chair.  
  
"May I?" he asked, his hands taking the back of it, ready to hold it out for her. He remembered these games from his own childhood, how to be polite to someone whose eyes you wouldn't mind gouging out.  
  
She nodded back at him and he pulled out her chair, waited until she was in position, then carefully pushed it back in, until she was seated comfortably. She did not thank him; he turned back to make eyes at Remus, but the other man was busy getting Teddy settled in his booster seat.  
  
He sat himself in his chair, turned a bit towards Remus, watching the others settle themselves around the table, and he was much reminded of important family events in his childhood. He glanced over at the young boy who was seated across from Remus, next to Dora, and he couldn't help but smile a bit. Sirius had worn that facial expression more than a few times as a child: the boy was bored, he just wanted to eat and get his presents.  
  
Sirius suddenly was glad that there weren't more children around; he had the distinct feeling that if a children's table was required, there would have been an attempt to seat him there.  
  
There was a low murmur in his ear. "I'm sorry she did that to you," Remus said. Sirius turned to see that Remus was glancing past Sirius, grimacing.  
  
"I'll charm her knickers out of a twist," he replied, giving Remus a quick wink. Remus looked back at him, a bit of a chastising look on his face. "Honestly, best behavior, I promised."  
  
Remus reached over and took Sirius's hand under the table. "I know."  
  
Sirius reached for his water, and suddenly realised that, perhaps unknowingly, Dora had done them a favor; by seating Sirius to Remus's left, Remus could hold his southpaw partner's hand throughout the dinner without causing problems eating. He gave Remus's hand a squeeze, then braced himself for the evening.  
  
Later that night, when they had finished dinner and dessert, let the children open a present each (to Sirius's delight Teddy had opened his, which being a fantastic set of castle-building blocks forced many in the room to give him a begrudging nod, deeming his offering acceptable), and shared small talk which was a bit less awkward with a good bit of alcohol in the veins, Remus drove the two of them back to his place, where they immediately fell onto the couch, sprawled and tangled together as they relaxed.  
  
"That," Remus said with a sigh, after several minutes of comfortable silence, "was not as horrid as I had feared."  
  
Sirius chuckled, turning his head to kiss Remus's temple. "What did you think was going to happen?"  
  
"Oh, you know. Something . . . horrid."  
  
"You seem to have lost some vocabulary tonight. I much prefer when I leave you speechless, frankly."  
  
Remus smiled and turned into Sirius more, burrowing into the embrace. "Didn't have any specific ideas on what might happen, but I was afraid there'd be shouting over something."  
  
Sirius nodded. "Fair play to that, though, I nearly made poor Aunt Bella choke on her pudding when I said I recognized her husband."  
  
"Is that what you said?" Remus asked, laughing softly. "Why would...?"  
  
Sirius snickered. "It was right after she finished interrogating me about our 'friendship'. I suspect that she thought I was suggesting I'd seen him somewhere unseemly. Bathhouses or something terrible like that."  
  
"So where did you recognize him from?"  
  
"Think he works in my building. Wouldn't know him by name, and I'm still not sure. After the choking, I figured I ought to drop the subject."  
  
Remus kissed Sirius's cheek. "Thank you for coming. I think . . . I think it was good."  
  
"I think so, too. Thank you for inviting me." He kissed Remus softly on the lips, though after a moment or so the kiss had deepened, and before long they were greeting Christmas with soft sighs and quiet moans, and Sirius decided this was the best Christmas he'd ever had.  
  


* * *

  
Time passed easily enough. The Christmas dinner had put Remus at ease about things that Sirius hadn't even quite realised were making him tense, and by the time winter began to cycle into spring, Sirius felt they had settled into a nice routine of coupledom. Few nights were spent alone for either of them, though neither house could lay claim to seeing more of them; while he had Teddy, Remus kept to his own house, though when his son was off for a few weeks with Dora, he liked to stay at Sirius's. Sirius welcomed the company happily, though of course he never complained when Remus took time to be with Teddy.  
  
In the early days of March, they were tidying Remus's house for an impending Teddification, when the phone startled them both. Remus frowned, and Sirius looked over at him.  
  
"Think Dora's got a problem?" Sirius asked, as Remus went over to answer it.  
  
"I hope not," he said. He picked it up, but apparently whoever was on the other end launched into their reason for calling, because he was quiet for a moment before starting to say, "Oi, Pete . . . hey, relax!" Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius and held up one finger and walked into the kitchen. Sirius shrugged and continued tidying, then sat to watch a little television while he waited.  
  
After fifteen minutes or so Remus returned, dropping with a sigh onto the sofa right up against Sirius. "Peter has a problem. He needs my help."  
  
Sirius pulled Remus's hand up, kissing his knuckles. "Right now?"  
  
Remus nodded. "Yeah. It shouldn't be too long, but I'll have to call Dora to have her hang on to Teddy a little longer."  
  
"You will?" Sirius asked. "Why?"  
  
"Oh, I just mean I won't be able to pick him up on time."  
  
Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "I know, I just mean . . ." He gestured to himself. "I could go get him. I mean, if you wanted."  
  
Remus licked his lips. "Would you? Would you mind?"  
  
"Of course I wouldn't mind!" Sirius grinned and kissed Remus's cheek. "Teddy's waiting to see you, I wouldn't want to make him wait longer. It'll be fine!" Remus smiled and kissed Sirius back. "So that's a yes, then?  
  
"That's a yes. That would be a huge help, Sirius, thank you." One more kiss and Remus stood up. "I'll get going now, then. Do you remember how to get to Dora's?"  
  
Sirius nodded. "Yep. How long do you think you'll be? Just so I can let Teddy know?"  
  
Remus was already getting his things together, grabbing his car keys. "I don't think much more than two hours. I'll bring lunch home, stop at a chip shop or something." He threw the keys to Sirius, who caught them awkwardly. "Just don't tell Dora, she'll get all uppity about eating poorly."  
  
"Got it. And I'll take the car, I suppose?"  
  
"Think that's best, it'll be easier to drag Teddy's things home that way."  
  
Sirius jangled the keys and smiled. "We'll be  _fine_ , Remus. Go help your mate, bring back something terribly unhealthy for us, and then we'll have a good afternoon together." Remus came back over to kiss Sirius's head, said goodbye, then hurried off. Sirius waited another fifteen minutes or so, then headed out himself.  
  
Twenty minutes after that, Sirius was jogging around to the side of Dora's house, knocking on the door and putting on his most cheerful face. He hoped Teddy would be okay with going with him.  
  
The door opened, and Dora looked at him, surprised. "Oh. Sirius? I wasn't expecting you."  
  
He smiled and looked apologetic. "Sorry, Dora, I should have called, or had Remus call. He wasn't able to come out to get Teddy today, so I came instead. That's all right, I hope?" He wasn't sure what to make of the look on her face.  
  
"You're late," was all she said, then stepped back, gesturing for him to follow her inside. He sighed and went in after her, figuring at least she hadn't told him shove off, even if she was eager to quibble about—he checked his watch—two and half minutes. She lead him into the kitchen, where Teddy and Dav were cleaning breakfast dishes, Dav doing the actual cleaning and Teddy perched on the counter, drying each one very carefully before putting it to the side.  
  
"Sirius!" Teddy said, his feet kicking excitedly. "Hi!"  
  
Sirius grinned. "Hullo Teddy. Your daddy sent me over to pick you up today, that okay with you?" He noticed that Dav had stopped washing, was standing still at the sink.  
  
"Yup!" He put down the dish and raised his arms; Sirius strode over and picked the boy up high before setting him on his feet, at which point Teddy ran off, presumably upstairs to get his things.  
  
"Didn't know you were coming for him," said Dav once the adults were alone.  
  
Sirius nodded, hiding his surprise that Dav had spoken to him. At Christmas the two men had regarded each other as rivals, each protecting his mate from the wolf in the flock. "It was a last-minute thing, Remus couldn't make it." He considered giving details for a moment, then decided neither he nor Remus owed them one. "Surely it's not the worst thing in the world that I came, though?"  
  
Dora was leaning against the stove, her arms crossed defensively. "It's just . . . unexpected. We didn't realise . . ."  
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "That I was that close to your son? To Remus?"  
  
Dav cleared his throat. "It's just a bit presumptuous, is all. That you've just elbowed your way into our family."  
  
It took a lot of self-control, but Sirius managed to calmly answer, "Certainly no more than you have, Dav. Remus would not have asked me to help if he didn't think it was appropriate, and I'm sure you can respect his judgment."  
  
"Of course," said Dora, shooting a look to Dav which clearly was telling him to shut up. "As I said, it's simply unexpected. Not . . . not unwelcome."  
  
Sirius smiled, though he knew it wasn't reaching his eyes. "I'm glad for that." There was an awkward silence as they all looked at each other, until finally they heard Teddy's footsteps running through the hallways again, jumping down the stairs, and a moment he was back in the kitchen, dragging a bag behind him, his face split into a wide grin at Sirius.  
  
"Let's go!" he said, holding up one hand for Sirius to take, which Sirius did as he grinned back.  
  
"Have everything you need, big guy?" Teddy said he did, and with a slightly stilted round of goodbyes, the two went out and got into Remus's car. Teddy didn't seem to have noticed anything particularly off between the adults, so Sirius brushed it off, simply making a note to mention it to Remus later when Teddy was in bed. When he did, Remus didn't seem to think much of it, happy enough to accept Dora's word that it was something unexpected, not unwelcome. Sirius agreed to let it go, though in reality he only stored it in the back of his mind, to be further examined later.  
  


* * *

  
Lily got through her first trimester easily, and Harry was pretty excited to find out he was going to have a little brother or sister. Sirius discovered, in a moment of innocent spying on his godson, that the boy had a preference as to which it would be. Everyone had gathered at Sirius's house for a surprise party for Remus, and Teddy and Harry had run upstairs to play after they'd eaten cake and been fully hyped up on sugar. When it had gotten a little quiet for everyone's tastes, Sirius went up to check on the boys.  
  
He found them on the bed in the guest room, Teddy tucked under Harry's arm, sucking his thumb, while Harry read to him quietly from one of the books that had tagged along in Teddy's bag. Sirius stayed just outside the room, listening for a moment, and was about to leave when he heard Harry break from the story of a boy being annoyed by his little sister.  
  
"I think Johnny's a git," Harry said. "Would be nice to have a baby sister, don't you think, Teddy?" There was a soft murmur, some sleepy mumblings of the other boy. "Yeah. I mean, a brother'd be great, too, but I got you for that, don't I? Well, you're not  _really_  my brother, but if your dad stays with Sirius, it'll be as good as. So might as well have a sister, doncha think?"  
  
Sirius smiled, tucking the moment away to share with Remus later, and possibly James and Lily after that. He then walked away from the door and approached it again, this time making more noise so that Harry wouldn't realise he'd been spied on.  
  
As Teddy's birthday approached, Remus had more phone calls with Dora, making plans for a party at a geographically neutral location with most of Teddy's class in attendance, along with family and friends of family. Sirius was pleased to learn that his attendance was assumed by Dora, and that James and Lily bringing Harry along to offer a different sort of chaperone for the younger children was more than welcome.  
  
She invited them out to dinner one night, in the week before the party, and both Sirius and Remus felt at ease about what was becoming a fairly mature and healthy relationship between the two couples. The dinner itself started off innocently enough, the starter and fish courses going smoothly. There was a lull before the main course arrived; the waiter came over to refill their drinks, and when he left, Dora sat forward slightly and picked up her glass.  
  
"So, the thing is, we didn't just want to have dinner with you two for no particular reason," Dora said, glancing over at Dav and sipping at her drink.  
  
Sirius looked over at Remus, eyes widening a bit. Remus just looked back at Dora, a look on his face as though he'd seen this kind of thing from her before, and he had a fair idea of what was about to happen.  
  
"Is that so, Dora?" he asked—his voice was a little cold, and Sirius frowned.  
  
Dav leaned forward, gesturing vaguely. "I'm sure this won't come as a surprise to you." He smiled a bit and took Dora's hand in his own. "I've asked Dora to marry me."  
  
Sirius was surprised, and he was sure his face reflected that pretty clearly. It wasn't all that surprising by itself—frankly it was something he'd fully expect for any other couple who'd been together as long as Dora and Dav had been—but since Remus had predicted that Dora would be less than willing to commit yet, Sirius had taken that to heart, and so he hadn't really given it much thought.  
  
Remus smiled a bit, but Sirius could tell that it wasn't entirely genuine. "Well?" he asked, looking at Dora. "Did you say yes?"  
  
She chuckled softly. "Yes, of course I did. You're fine with that, aren't you, Remus?"  
  
"Of course I am," he replied, his tone matching hers; Sirius sensed there was something else between the two at this moment, an old issue that had never been properly addressed. He also got the sense that Remus was waiting for the next shoe to drop.  
  
Dav nodded, smiling. "Excellent. Haven't sorted the date yet, but I expect we've got ages for all that nonsense, don't we?"  
  
Dora pressed her lips together. "Only, there's something else we needed to tell you, too." Remus frowned, but nodded and waited for her to continue. Under the table, he reached over and took Sirius's hand, squeezing it tightly, and suddenly Sirius realised what Dora was going to say.  
  
"Since we'll be getting married, Remus, I . . . that is, Dav and I . . ." She looked down at the table, then back up at her ex-husband. "Look, we're going to ask for full custody of Teddy now that we're getting married. And we would appreciate it if you didn't fight us on it."  
  
Sirius's jaw dropped, and he honestly had no idea how to react. He wanted to shout at the pair seated across from him, but he knew it wasn't his place to cause a scene, not over this issue. Remus was sitting stock-still, his fingers gripping Sirius's like a vice.  
  
Dav cleared his throat. "Remus, mate? You all right there?" Sirius was very proud of himself for not standing up and punching the thick idiot in the face.  
  
Remus took a very careful breath; Sirius braced himself, because while Remus very rarely lost his temper, when he did it was intense, and Sirius never envied whoever was on the receiving end of the anger. "You . . . you want me to just _give up_  my son? Without a fight, even?" His voice was low and smooth, and Sirius felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up.  
  
Dora, to her credit, looked a bit unsure. "Remus, it's not that you're giving him up, not really. Just . . ."  
  
"Just that I won't be able to see him except every other weekend and a couple of weeks in the summer? You . . ." Remus shook his head, then stood up, picking his jacket off the back of his chair. "I can't believe you. And I can't talk to you right now."  
  
Without waiting for Sirius, Remus turned and left, hurrying out of the restaurant. Sirius looked at them both, considering just storming out without a word, but finally he stood and said, "I suggest you both really consider what you just asked him to do before you try to talk to him again. Just some friendly advice." He dropped down twenty quid on the table to cover at least part of their meals, then hurried to follow Remus out.  
  
Remus was outside, pacing on the sidewalk. Sirius wasn't sure if he should try to go to him like this, but his heart ached to see Remus in such distress, so he approached carefully, giving Remus plenty of time to tell Sirius to back off. Remus let him touch his shoulder, then pull him into an embrace.  
  
For a few minutes Sirius just murmured soothing noises, rubbing Remus's back and trying to put him at ease, then finally whispered to Remus, "Let's go home, love. Go back to my place?"  
  
Remus nodded, taking a deep breath and standing up straight, though he kept one arm around Sirius still; Sirius could feel Remus's fingers gripping his shirt, clinging slightly. "Okay. That's a good idea."  
  
Sirius kissed Remus's cheek softly, then turned and raised his hand to hail a taxi, not wanting to subject Remus to the public on the tube that night. Grateful, Remus kept himself at Sirius's side while they got in the cab and rode to Sirius's house.  
  


* * *

  
That night of the dinner, Remus hadn't wanted to talk about it much, choosing instead to take Sirius to bed, desperate to have some control back. It was angry and sad and scared and desperate, and Sirius felt guilty about how much he enjoyed it, though he knew Remus would be glad that Sirius could find pleasure even in his most volatile moods. When they were done Sirius cuddled Remus and made him feel warm and safe and loved, wanting Remus to know that Sirius was there for him, wasn't going anywhere, and would be at his side for anything. He wasn't sure if the message got across, though the next day Remus seemed more determined than scared, and Sirius liked to think he was somewhat responsible for that.  
  
Sirius didn't want to be the one to bring it up that day, but he didn't have very long to wait for Remus to do so on his own. Sirius called off from work, pleading a family emergency, then cooked up a big breakfast for them both. Afterwards, as they washed dishes together, Remus broached the subject.  
  
"It's not that I wasn't expecting this to ever happen," he said, his voice quiet. Sirius looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "I knew one day we'd stop the equal shared custody, simply because it wouldn't be practical anymore. He'd get older and it would just make more sense to have him settled with one of us rather than shuttling back and forth every couple of weeks." He put down his dishcloth, leaning his hands against the sink, arms stiff and elbows locked. "Hell, it probably would have made more sense to do it like from the beginning, but with her job and everything, we figured it didn't make sense for either of us to really claim more custody."  
  
He was quiet for a moment, and Sirius moved over to stand next to him, leaning his back against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest. "But you didn't expect anything like this, did you?" he asked quietly.  
  
"I thought I had a few years, still." Remus shook his head sadly. "And that maybe Teddy might want to stay with me."  
  
Sirius frowned, sensing a sort of acceptance in Remus's voice. "You're . . . you  _are_ going to fight them, aren't you?"  
  
Remus looked over at Sirius, and his face as he shrugged almost broke Sirius's heart. "What's the point? She's his mother, she's the one who's going to be in a stable marriage. Why wouldn't she win? Fighting it would just waste time and money and energy, and just show Teddy how his parents care more about themselves than about what's best for him."  
  
"Hey." Sirius put his hand on Remus's arm, turning a bit towards him. "Who's to say that what you're doing right now, the equal custody, isn't what's best for him? What about that picture he drew of his two families? Isn't that a good sign?"  
  
Remus smiled vaguely, but didn't respond.  
  
Sirius smiled back. "Will you do me a favor?" Remus tilted his head, waiting to hear what the favor was before responding. "Will you at least  _talk_  to a solicitor before writing it all off? Just to make sure you're right about your chances of winning?"  
  
Remus sighed, then moved to stand in front of Sirius, leaning into him; Sirius embraced him easily. "Okay. I'll talk to someone. Not for my sake, but for  _our_  sake."  
  
Kissing his cheek, then his lips, Sirius squeezed Remus tighter. "I love you very much. And I love Teddy, too. I'll help you fight for him, if that's what you want. You know that, right?"  
  
Remus nodded. "I know. Thank you."  
  
They stood there at the sink for a while longer, not speaking in words, but just soft kisses and touches of reassurance.  
  
Later that afternoon, as Remus took a nap and Sirius found himself with energy to expel, he called James to ask for advice.  
  
"James, mate, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but do you happen to know any solicitors who focus on child residency?"  
  
James laughed, a little startled. "Can't say that I do, Sirius, sorry. Why, what's happened?"  
  
Sirius explained the issue to his friend, and he was pleased that James's own paternal feathers were quite ruffled up on Remus's behalf. "Stroppy bitch!" he declared of Dora. "Something's not right there. You're sure it's just because she's getting married, not because she's afraid of her little boy being raised by, well, a couple of poofters?"  
  
Sirius shook his head. "I can't imagine that would be it. It's not like she didn't know Remus was gay even when she was with him. If she had a problem, why didn't she go for complete custody from the start?"  
  
"Well it's like Remus said, innit? Her job? When the mum's a copper, and the dad works from home, if she doesn't agree to making it all equal, he's probably got a better case for himself than she does."  
  
"Maybe it should have been that way," Sirius said with a grunt. "And I don't see how her getting married will change that. It's not like she's going to quit and stay at home with the tyke, and Dav works full time as well. Travels for work, too, I think."  
  
"I think you just have to tell Remus to fight it, then. Either for the status quo, or maybe even to get more responsibility for himself, if he wants that."  
  
Sirius nodded. "Mm, I think he does. He did mention he'd hoped when Teddy was older, that Teddy might ask to stay with his da. . . ."  
  
"Brilliant then! See them in court with that, and make a judge decide that it's healthier for a child to be put with a mum and step-dad who both have full time jobs out of the house, rather than his father who works from home and happens to be in a pretty serious relationship with a good and responsible man who loves the boy like his own."  
  
Sirius blushed; he'd never explicitly stated his desire to think of Remus's son as his own as well, but clearly James had picked up on that anyway. "Well, I've been trying to get him to at least fight their motion," he said, not acknowledging the other remark, "though that's hard enough, so I'm not sure that getting him to file against her like that will happen. Right now I'm happy that he seems less inclined to just agree." He sighed. "Thanks, mate. I was worried I was being unrealistic, and maybe he just didn't want to tell me."  
  
"You've a good gut, Sirius, all right? Didn't make you Harry's godfather for no good reason. Don't let him give up, yeah?"  
  
Sirius agreed and hung up after saying goodbye, feeling better about what he felt needed to be done. Now all he had to do was get Remus to feel the same.  
  


* * *

  
Sundays were Potter days for Sirius, a tradition that had kept mostly unchanged even as he began dating Remus, and now, if Teddy was staying with his mother, Remus often joined Sirius visiting the other family. Sirius was highly appreciative of the fact that James and Lily considered Remus one of their own now, taking both a sense of approval as well as a hope for longevity in the relationship from them.  
  
Harry was away for the weekend, a school trip up to the Lake District, so the four adults took some time for themselves, enjoying the quiet moments they didn't have to spend tripping over toys left out and dealing with unexpected spills. Eventually, though, the conversation came back around to the kids, and Remus found himself talking to his friends about the issue that was facing him.  
  
"I don't know what to do, really," he said, covering his face with his hands. "I don't want to turn him into an object to be fought over, to be tugged from either end, but . . ." He shook his head. "I don't know what I'd do without him. I wish I could have him more often, really, but I know better than to ask for that."  
  
James scoffed. "To hell with politeness," he said. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I don't think your current arrangement is broken at all, is it?" Sirius gave James a grateful smile, glad he didn't push the idea of Remus going for everything right then.  
  
Lily was a bit more gentle. "I . . . well, I can understand where Dora's coming from." She held up a hand at the sight of three outraged men staring at her. "I'm not saying she's  _right_ , and I'm definitely not saying Remus is wrong. But she's finally settling, getting married, and it's natural to want to include her son in that, especially if she has no particular plans to have children with her fiancé anytime soon."  
  
Remus looked at Lily, his face miserable. "So what should I do, then? How do I handle that?"  
  
"Have you spoken to her yet? Since she told you?" Remus shook his head. "Well that's a place to start. Maybe she can explain why she thinks it's a better idea, and you will be in a better position to listen and respond."  
  
"She's been avoiding me," he said, glancing over at Sirius. "She sent Dav to pick Teddy up this time. Never done that before."  
  
Sirius frowned. "Sounds more like they're pushing to get Teddy to see Dav as a parent." For a moment Sirius almost suggested that he be the one to pick Teddy up again, but as that was still a week away, there didn't seem to be a point. "Look, it's not her choice to avoid you, is it? You're the hurt party in this, you get to demand some answers. You get to make her defend her request." He put an arm around Remus, pulling the other man to his side, kissing his temple.  
  
"I guess. I just worry about what she's told Teddy. I don't even know if he knows he's getting a step-father, or what it means."  
  
"That's why you have to ask her," Lily said, nodding. "Don't let her get off easy."  
  
Sirius looked to Lily and smiled slightly; her face was determined and her eyes glinting, a look he'd come to know and fear years ago. Remus was looking a little wary, and Sirius leaned in to murmur in his ear.  
  
"Better do what she says, or she'll get you. Even pregnant." Remus's lips quirked, and Sirius felt him relax into Sirius's embrace, while James snickered, Lily tried her best to look affronted, and Sirius put on his most innocent face.  
  


* * *

  
The problem was that Remus seemed to be right—Dora appeared to be avoiding Remus, and Sirius was being driven up the wall by her petty actions. She was out running errands when Remus went to pick up Teddy that following weekend, despite the fact that he arrived at the same time he always did. Remus left word with Dav to have her call him that afternoon, but she never did. The only good thing about the situation, Sirius felt, was that Remus had not been served papers yet to reconsider the residency arrangements, so at the very least Dora seemed to be avoiding the entire issue. Sirius hoped that it was because she was reconsidering her request.  
  
Once Teddy was settled in at home with his father, Remus took him aside for a while, gently prying him for information. The end result of his careful questioning was that he learned that Teddy knew that his mum and Dav were engaged, though he didn't seem to quite grasp what that meant. Remus let the matter drop; there would be time enough to make sure everything was understood. Sirius was glad, glad that Teddy wasn't completely in the dark, and glad that Teddy probably wouldn't sense the struggle that was coming.  
  
The next weekend Remus was up against a tight deadline, and the issues of the last two weeks had left him in a bit of a hole. Always happy to be Remus's hero, Sirius offered to take Teddy out for the day, to give Remus some quiet time to work. Gratefully, Remus agreed, and so Sirius and Teddy headed out on the town.  
  
Teddy's hand fit into Sirius's trustingly as they walked to the nearest tube station. They were off to St. James's park, a bag of bread crusts tucked away in Teddy's backpack; Sirius was a little amused at how the park was turning into a good place for first dates with Lupins. He found a free seat and helped Teddy up onto it, standing in front of him and watching the boy's face as he looked around at all the people, at the lights of the tunnels streaking past. He caught the eye of a woman watching him, and she smiled, the same kind of smile Remus usually got from strangers when he was with Teddy. Sirius usually teased Remus about them, saying that it was a shame these women found his fatherhood so sweet and attractive when it was completely wasted, but this time he got a warm feeling in his chest. This time he was the father, or so anyone would naturally think, and it felt nice to be recognized like that.  
  
Despite their frequent talks about how to come to a decent compromise on the future of Teddy's residence, one thing that Sirius had kept to himself was how much he himself would be disappointed and hurt if Dora and Dav took Teddy full-time. He was fairly sure that if Remus's time with his son would be decreased, the time he did get would become all the more precious, and Sirius would want to give Remus space during those times, not hog Remus's attention or force him to split it. Which meant, of course, that Sirius would see very little of Teddy, and quite honestly, the idea hurt him deeply.  
  
"Coming up on our stop, Ted," Sirius said, reaching down to lift Teddy up into his arms. "You ready for some serious duck-feeding?"  
  
Teddy nodded his head enthusiastically. "Gonna feed the ducks, an' then feed the Teddy Monster!"  
  
Sirius laughed and tickled Teddy's belly. "That's right! You still thinking about what you want for lunch?"  
  
"I wanna hamburger, Sirius," said Teddy, looking quite confident in his decision. "An' chips! An' a milkshake!"  
  
Sirius widened his eyes comically. "All that, eh? You sure you've got room in there?" He tickled Teddy again, and the boy squealed and wiggled in Sirius's arms.  
  
The train pulled to a stop, knocking Sirius off balance just enough for Teddy to yell, "Whoa!" and make the other riders laugh, which made Teddy giggle even as they exited the train. Sirius carried him until they were at street level again, the full press of bodies at the popular stop too great for him to risk only holding Teddy's hand. Once the crowd dispersed, he let Teddy walk with him, crossing a couple streets before they entered the park and headed down the path towards the lake. There was an open spot near where Sirius had met Remus that one day that seemed an age ago at least.  
  
"How's this?" Sirius asked, letting go of Teddy's hand so the lad could carefully inspect the area. After a few moments of clearly serious scouting, Teddy gave Sirius a thumbs up.  
  
"Looks good. Can I feed the ducks now?"  
  
"Sure, here, let's get your backpack off . . . that's right, and . . ." he rummaged through the bag for a moment, "here's some bread," he said, handing Teddy two crusty ends. "You stay in front of me here, all right? If the ducks swim away, don't follow them."  
  
Teddy nodded, shouting, "Okay Sirius!" as he turned and ran down to the water's edge. Sirius watched for a moment, then once satisfied that Teddy would obey, he sat on the grass, lamenting that he hadn't thought to bring a blanket. Still, it was warm in the sun, and he sat still for several moments, enjoying being outside on a spring day.  
  
Sirius had brought a book with him, but he found himself far more entertained by the epic story unfolding before him, that of Teddy Lupin versus the St. James Ducks. Clearly aware of the damage small bipedal beings could pose to them when allowed to carry on unsupervised, the ducks were quick to get away from Teddy whenever he tried to get closer with his bread. It wasn't that they ignored him completely—on the contrary, they seemed very careful to stay within his bread-throwing range—but they made sure they were also outside his stomp-and-charge range. Teddy was getting frustrated, though, and once one roll had been completely thrown among the fowl, Teddy let them be, running back up to Sirius with a slight pout on his lips.  
  
"How'd it go, Teddy? Get them well fed?" Sirius asked, putting away the book even though he'd only read two sentences.  
  
Teddy flopped down, crossing his legs and resting his elbow on his leg, his chin in his hand. "They don't like me."  
  
Sirius smiled and reached over to ruffle Teddy's hair. "Course they do. What's not to like?"  
  
Teddy gave him a careful look. "You like me, Sirius?"  
  
Sirius blinked, surprised by the question. "Of course I do! I like you very much, you know that." He scooted over closer to Teddy, putting his arm around the young boy. "Why do you ask?"  
  
Teddy shrugged one shoulder. "Dav . . . I heard him say to Mum that you'll be happier once I'm with them." He frowned, and Sirius did as well.  
  
"When did you hear him say that? Do you know what they were talking about?"  
  
"Dunno," Teddy said, shrugging again. "Somethin' 'bout goin' up north?"  
  
Sirius tried not to react, but his body stiffened anyway. Remus had mentioned that Dav was originally from the North, almost to Scotland; now he wondered if Dav meant to move them back there once he and Dora had married and, presumably, they'd won the residency rights for Teddy.  
  
This was getting out of hand.  
  
"Teddy, my boy, don't worry about that. I don't want you to go anywhere." He leaned down and kissed Teddy's head, then murmured. "I love you, kiddo." He felt skinny little arms press around him in a return hug and Sirius smiled. "Come on, let's go see if we can get those ducks to be nicer to you."  
  


* * *

  
There was a small play park down the street from Dora's house. Teddy often talked about it, told them about the other children who played with him there, though until now Sirius had never stepped foot in it. Now he sat on a bench, watching some of the little tykes playing around, trying not to give off creepy paedophile vibes as he gave himself time to think. James would be shocked to know his friend was not running headlong into a bad decision; no, this time Sirius fully planned to take it slow and really decide that this bad decision was the best thing to do.  
  
Teddy and Remus were home; they thought Sirius had gone out to run some errands. He did plan to stop at Remus's favorite bakery on the way home, his apology already planned out. Instead of errands, though, he was here, trying to solidify his anger into a single ball of outrage before letting it loose on Remus's ex-wife. He hadn't told Remus about what Teddy had let slip earlier that day, and he didn't intend to. He did intend to let Dora know that he knew what was up, and just what he thought of it. He didn't hold much expectation about her listening to him, but it would be enough, he thought, just to yell for a while.  
  
Not that he was doing much yelling out here. "Right then," he murmured to himself, standing up and starting to make his way out of the park and over to Dora's corner house. He knew she was home, having seen her walk past about a half-hour ago with a few bags full of shopping in her arms. If she'd seen him, she'd made no indication, so he was fairly confident he would take her by surprise.  
  
He considered going to the front door for a moment, but then considered that it wouldn't do to put on a show for the neighbors if she didn't let him inside. He had no plans on forcing his way into anything, and for all he knew she would slam the door in his face the moment she realised what he wanted, but he had to try, and hope she'd let him yell—well, say his piece; he wouldn't  _really_  yell. (Probably.)  
  
Three sharp knocks to the side door were enough to bring her out, wearing a face of confusion. "Sirius? What are you doing here? Remus has Teddy for another week yet."  
  
Sirius nodded. "I know. I came to talk to you." She hadn't shooed him off yet, so maybe they could actually talk.  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "Whatever for? You and I have nothing to discuss. Remus is perfectly capable of coming to me with his own concerns about anything, and he knows that."  
  
"I know. He doesn't know I'm here, because if I'd told him he would have stopped me, but someone needs to say it, and I think it's up to me." He watched as she pursed her lips and folded her arms across her chest, standing more squarely in the doorway. "Why the hell are you doing this to him? To  _them_? I can understand you not caring about Remus's feelings anymore, but I don't understand why you'd do this to Teddy, your  _son_."  
  
"Do what, exactly?" she asked. "Give him a stable home with parents who are there for him?"  
  
"Taking him from his  _father_ , you silly woman! His father who  _adores_  him and is available to him far more than you or Dav can ever be, and who never asked for more even though he could probably get it because he's an honest and noble man who knows that his son needs his mother, too." He took a breath, but started before she could reply again.  
  
"And  _don't_  give me shite about how things wouldn't change that much, because even if you could somehow make the argument that going from two solid weeks a month to every other weekend and two weeks in the summer isn't changing things, moving to bloody  _Scotland_  is a pretty big fucking change! It's a lot harder to make the every-other-weekend plan stick when you've got to travel clear across the country to do it, you realise."  
  
Dora's jaw dropped; Sirius shook his head. "You ought to watch out for little listening ears when you talk about huge, life-changing plans. Little mouths don't know when not to say anything."  
  
She gathered herself, visibly, and finally spoke. "I still don't see how any of this is  _your_  concern. You have no place here—you said yourself that Remus wouldn't approve of you coming to say this."  
  
He sucked in a breath, finding the strength not to shout. "That's because," he said in a low voice, "he's still fighting himself, the desire to fight for Teddy against his instinct to not turn Teddy into an object to be fought over.  
  
"And anyway," he continued, holding up a hand to forestall any replies, "I think I already stated my place: I'm  _in love_ with him, and I don't plan to go anywhere anytime soon, which at least puts me on the same level as Dav in this nice little modern family, so if Dav gets to suggest moving you and Teddy away from Remus, then I get to object loudly and have my position heard."  
  
"Dav is going to  _marry me_ ," Dora said, as though Sirius had forgotten. "In the eyes of the courts his wishes will be considered far more relevant than yours, the poofy fuck buddy."  
  
Sirius took a step forward, and Dora shrank back. " _Don't_  insult me by degrading my place in Remus's life," he said between gritted teeth. Sirius fought the urge to growl at her, an unbidden desire he'd felt more and more over the last few weeks when thinking about everything that was going on. "And I don't care about the  _courts._  But between the four of us, you need to acknowledge that you have  _both_  moved on from each other and found loving and dedicated partners who each love your son as his own."  
  
He stepped back again. "You haven't 'won' here, Dora, and Teddy isn't your prize. And if you go through with all this, Teddy will be the one who's lost the most, because he'll have lost his father, along with a mother who put his best interest first."  
  
Dora said nothing, instead just glaring at Sirius, one hand on the door as though ready to slam it should he say the wrong thing.  
  
"I've said what I came to say." He dismissed her with a wave of his arm as he backed away. "Think about it. Think about all of this carefully. Then do the right thing." With that, he turned and walked out towards the fence, not looking back and eager to get home to Remus as soon as he could, hopefully before it really hit him what a huge mess he might have just made.  
  


* * *

  
Sirius presented the pastries to Remus with a small grin, and the curious look he received in return was enough to know that Remus knew that Sirius had gone and Done Something. It was also enough to know that Dora hadn't immediately called Remus when Sirius left to tell her ex-husband to reign in his dogs. That probably wasn't an actual hopeful sign, but at least she wasn't out to make things worse for Sirius in revenge.  
  
Dinner was a pile of cheese toasties and chocolate milk, celebration for Remus meeting his deadline and having a good article to submit to a gay-themed paper that was considering hiring him on as a recurring columnist. Getting the job would be huge, especially if Remus would have to fight Dora in court for Teddy, not just for the money, but also for the support that would come with the position. Sirius hadn't mentioned it to Dora, both in case Remus did not get the job, and also so if he did, she would never see it coming.  
  
They cleaned the kitchen while Teddy was in his bath, and while he was loathe to possibly start an argument when Teddy could come down and hear them, Sirius figured it was better than possibly waking him up later.  
  
"Remus," he said, his voice hesitant and soft, "I . . . I did something I think you won't like today."  
  
Remus nodded, not looking over as he knelt to put away the frying pan. "I do prefer the raspberry pastries to the strawberry, yes, but it was still better than peach, so I'll forgive you."  
  
Sirius smiled and walked over to Remus, putting his hand on the other man's back. "They were out of raspberry, sorry."  
  
Remus stood and turned to Sirius. "Seriously, whatever you did . . . why did you do it? And why are you telling me?"  
  
"Because I had to. And because I love you. And I'm telling you because I want to be honest, even if I couldn't tell you before I did it since then you would have stopped me."  
  
"Could I have?" Remus asked, his voice light, though Sirius could tell Remus was feeling unsure now.  
  
Sirius nodded earnestly. "Yes, yes you could have. You'd have told me not to do it, and I would have listened, and that's why I couldn't tell you." He pulled Remus into a hug, and mumbled against Remus's neck, "I went and told off Dora about everything today."  
  
Remus's entire body stiffened isntantly; as expected, Remus was not expressing great pleasure in this turn of events. "You . . . what?"  
  
"I went to Dora's. Told her off about this shite about getting full custody rights. Tried to make her see sense."  
  
"You . . ." Remus took a deep breath. "I'm sure that didn't go over well, did it?"  
  
Sirius shook his head. "She said it wasn't my place. I told her it's my place as much as it is Dav's."  
  
"Well, she and Dav are engaged to be married. . . ."  
  
"Fine, then I'll ask you to marry me, if that's what you stupid wankers need to take me seriously!" Sirius stepped away, his hands running through his hair, tugging the ends in frustration. "The point  _is_ , what's she's doing—what  _they're_  doing—isn't right, and if you won't stand up for yourself and your rights as a father then  _I will_  because I love you and I love him and  _someone_ has to defend this family!"  
  
Remus stared at him for a moment, then turned away, a faint blush on his cheeks. "Sirius, don't be daft, we can't get married, so it—"  
  
"Oh  _sod marriage_!" Sirius said, grabbing Remus's shirt and pulling him close. He softened his voice, took the edge off his frustration. "It's not a matter of can or can't, laws or rules or any of that. I'm in this thing we have just as much as Dora and Dav are into their thing, and that alone should make us all equals in this. I don't want you to lose your son;  _I_ don't want to lose him, either. Remus, Remus he means so much to me, and now I understand why you were careful going into this with me because if something happened with us now, I don't know if I could stand losing both of you." He sighed. "So if you won't do a bit of shouting for yourself, then I'll do it for both of us."  
  
For a moment, Remus was quiet, and Sirius could faintly hear Teddy splashing in his bath and singing to himself, and nothing had ever sounded more wonderful to him. Finally, though, Remus spoke again.  
  
"You still shouldn't have gone, Sirius," he said quietly. "Not alone. Not without at least telling me. I might have let you go, you know."  
  
"I know." Sirius hugged Remus tightly again. "I'm sorry that I had to do it this way. And I'm sorry if it ends up making things worse."  
  
"It really might," Remus agreed.  
  
"But it's not just you in this, okay?" Sirius continued, rubbing Remus's back. "I don't want you to fight alone for your son; I want us to fight together for our son. Is . . . is that okay?" he asked, suddenly nervous, afraid that maybe he was asking for far more than Remus was ever prepared to give.  
  
Remus pulled out of the hug, choosing instead to kiss Sirius softly. "That's . . . fine," he murmured, then his face brightened slowly. "More than fine, Sirius,  _oh_." He hugged Sirius tightly again. "You're . . ." Remus shook his head, as though unable to find words to describe Sirius at the moment. "I'm so happy to have you here with us. Thank you."  
  
Sirius smiled widely. "You're welcome. Thank  _you_." He kissed Remus again, finally feeling like he belonged now, that he was more than a frequent guest, that now he was part of the family. Now all he had to do was help keep the family together.  
  


* * *

  
He wasn't sure what he expected in the days after his confrontation with Dora, but if pressed he would have said either an angry phone call, official paperwork from the courts, or silence. The timid knock on the front door was definitely far from the top choices on his list.  
  
Sirius had left work early, taking advantage of an out-of-town boss and a light workload to indulge in a surprise school-hours shag. Afterwards they strolled over to the school to pick Teddy up and give him a piggyback ride home as Sirius and Remus held hands. The new, conscious sense of family and togetherness that the weekend had brought was infectious; once home, Teddy and Sirius snuggled on the sofa and watched cartoons, while Remus put dinner together, occasionally calling out to remind Sirius that he'd have to learn to cook  _sometime_. Dinner was nearly ready when they heard the knock on the door, and Teddy quickly slid off the couch and ran to answer it.  
  
"Mummy!" he said with a squeal, and as Dora knelt to hug her son, Sirius sat up and looked back towards Remus, who came out of the kitchen with a carefully blank look on his face. Sirius didn't stand; this was still Remus's house, and Remus was here, so he would let Remus handle whatever was about to happen.  
  
Dora kissed Teddy's head then patted his bum. "Why don't you go play upstairs, sweetheart? I have to talk to Daddy for a bit." Teddy's eyes went wide, but he nodded and hurried up the stairs. Once sure he was out of earshot, Dora spoke again. "I'm sorry for barging in at this hour, I hope I haven't interrupted your supper?"  
  
Remus shook his head. "We hadn't started yet. What did you want to talk about?"  
  
She looked down at her feet, then back up, to meet Remus's eyes. "Dav's been offered a position in York. Just a couple of weeks ago."  
  
Sirius clenched his fists, and turned to look at Remus, the pained look in Remus's eyes more than obvious to him.  
  
"He's accepted," Remus said, not bothering to ask. "And you want to take Teddy with you when you move."  
  
Dora shook her head. "He hasn't accepted, not yet. I wouldn't do that to you, Remus. I know you don't think much of me these days, but please believe me when I say this was not something we knew about when we . . . made our request, and I know it is not a simple answer."  
  
Sirius managed to keep his mouth shut, keep his question to himself:  _How long were you going to wait before telling us?_  
  
"So you want my blessing, then? You want me to tell you to take my son halfway to Scotland and just be happy to stay here with my . . . 'fuck buddy'?"  _Oh, clever Remus_ , Sirius thought, biting back a smirk as he saw a hint of shame cross the woman's face as her eyes darted to him for just a moment. Just long enough to express her guilt.  
  
"I want to do what's right for our son. That's all I've ever wanted to do, you  _know_  that." Remus said nothing, allowing her to finish her defense of her actions. "But good intentions don't stop me from getting it wrong sometimes."  
  
She didn't speak again for a few moments, and Sirius shifted in his seat, wondering where she was going next.  
  
Remus finally broke the silence. "So. Where does that leave us? Where does that leave  _me_?"  
  
Dora sucked in a deep breath. "I don't want to fight you in courts, Remus. I think we'd win, and I'd . . . I'd always feel . . ."  
  
"You'd feel?  _You_?" Remus's jaw was tight. "And what about I would feel, knowing that I had at least a few years of time with my son taken, if not more?"  
  
"I know I've been selfish," she snapped, then took another deep breath. "I've been selfish and scared, because I always thought it would be just the two of us influencing him, and now . . ." Her eyes darted over to Sirius, just briefly, but Sirius saw it. He bit the inside of his cheek.  
  
Remus said, softly, "And now we both have someone else in our lives, and things aren't as simple as before." He tilted his head slightly. "You think you're the only one who's had to get used to changes? I've watched you and Dav get closer for over a year; I knew before you did that you'd marry him."  
  
"But that's . . ."  
  
"That's the same as what you're starting to understand, now. That I've brought someone else into the family, and that he's not going anywhere anytime soon." Sirius felt himself sit up a little straighter, proud and thrilled to hear Remus say that. "You know the answer isn't to take Teddy and run away."  
  
Dora nodded slowly. "I know. And I'm sorry that I've taken the long way around to accept that."  
  
Remus stepped forward, coming up behind the couch, his hands resting near Sirius's shoulder. "So . . . what now?"  
  
Sheepishly, Dora said, "I don't suppose you both would want to move to York?" Neither of them answered, unsure as to whether or not that was a joke or an honest suggestion, though Sirius found himself pleased that she asked them both, and not just Remus. She waved her hand. "I didn't think so. I'll tell Dav to turn down the position, then. Explain the situation, hope that maybe something like it will open up down here."  
  
"And what about our arrangement with Teddy?" Remus asked, his voice carefully hiding any signs of hope.  
  
She sighed. "We keep on as we are for now, like we'd planned in the beginning."  
  
Remus nodded. "Eventually he might have to choose."  
  
"He might."  
  
"Whichever one of us he doesn't choose, we'll have to be supportive of his choice, completely."  
  
She nodded. "Of course."  
  
Remus took one long, deep breath, his eyes closing briefly before he opened them and smiled. "Would you like to have dinner with us, Dora?"  
  
She turned to Sirius, the look on her face clearly waiting for permission, granting him the role of Remus's equal in the household, and he gave her a small smile and nodded. She smiled back widely. "I'd love to."  
  
Sirius stood and looked between them both. "I'll go get Teddy, then, have him wash up." He leaned over to kiss Remus's cheek quickly, then hurried over to the stairs, taking them two at a time until he was up on the next level. He leaned against the wall and sighed heavily, letting the tension release from his body. After a moment he stood straight again and continued on to Teddy's room to get him ready for dinner.  
  


* * *

  
It was hot again, one of the hotter Augusts Sirius could remember seeing, but nobody really minded being stuck indoors, not with a new baby around to keep everyone entertained.  
  
"She still sleeping?" Sirius asked, kissing Lily's cheek as Remus put Teddy's shoes aside while the boy ran upstairs to find Harry.  
  
Lily shook her head. "No, she's up. James is changing her. You've good timing." She smiled and turn to Remus, kissing his cheek in greeting as well.  
  
"How are you feeling, Lily?"  
  
She gestured to them, leading them towards the living room, where she sunk into the sofa. "I'm feeling fine. Tired, to be sure, but pretty good, all things considered." Sirius sat in a chair, while Remus perched on the arm next to him, a hand going around his shoulders. "How about you both? Settling in?"  
  
Remus chuckled. "Teddy's still getting used to his new room, but yeah, we're settling."  
  
Sirius gave a sly sideways glance to Remus. "You say that like you've had no problems at all." They'd moved in to their new house nearly a month ago now, timed so Teddy would be with Dora and not underfoot as they compiled two fully-furnished houses into one. Considering neither of them had lived with another adult in many years, the blending process had gone fairly easily. Remus and Sirius each now had his own room in which to work, which Remus absolutely loved.  
  
However, moves were never completely simple. Remus seemed to have issues in the bathroom and the kitchen, which amused the hell out of Sirius. Remus was more settled now, but Sirius still liked to tease him about the night Remus stumbled sleepily into the loo and ended up taking a piss in the shower.  
  
Remus playfully slapped his hand against Sirius's cheek. "Stories stay at home, Sirius."  
  
Lily snorted. "Nice try, Remus. You move in with our Sirius, you get to air your dirty laundry with us, too." She winked, then shifted in her seat; trying to find a comfortable position a week after giving birth was not easy. Sirius knew that James had been trying to keep her in bed, but she was stubborn and wanted to keep on acting as though it was any other day.  
  
Sirius turned and looked up at Remus, batting his eyelashes. "You know I'm worth it. Just accept it, and—" He was cut off by the sudden sound of footsteps, children barreling down the stairs and coming into the living room.  
  
"Daddy!" Teddy shouted, his eyes wide with excitement. "Uncle James said I can . . ." he stopped running just in front of Remus, paused for dramatic effect, " _hold the baby_!"  
  
Sirius immediately looked at Lily—he remembered how protective Lily had been about who could hold Harry as a newborn, and he wasn't sure if an enthusiastic six-year-old was likely to be high on her list.  
  
"Did he?" Remus asked, reaching out and tugging the boy over to adjust his shirt collar. "And where is this going to happen?"  
  
Harry, having stopped running as he'd hit the bottom of the stairs, walked over to the adults casually. "Dad's bringing her down here, he said if Teddy was very still and sitting on the couch, he could hold her."  
  
Lily smiled. "I'm sure Teddy will do just fine," she said, patting the cushion next to her with one hand, crooking a finger at Teddy with the other. "Come up here, sweetie, I'll show you how to sit. . . ."  
  
James came down, and Sirius watched with a fond smile as Teddy sat perfectly still as he was handed little baby Margaret—Maggie, James said they would call her. Teddy curled his hands around the baby, staring in awe, and Sirius looked up at Remus, who was watching his son with the same expression that James and Lily wore as they watched their daughter. Sirius then looked over at Harry, who looked like he was trying to seem bored with all the fuss, but Sirius remembered that overheard conversation from months ago, and knew that Harry had to be thrilled to have a baby sister.  
  
Remus shifted, tensing as Maggie started to make complaining noises and Teddy's eyes grew wide and he looked up at Lily. Before Remus could say anything, though, Lily was speaking softly and stroking Teddy's hair, and he was relaxing as Maggie calmed at the sound of her mother's voice. Sirius leaned into Remus, looked over at James, and smiled. He felt an intense wave of love for everyone in the room, for his family. And he felt quite sure that they would never disappoint him. 


End file.
